am i not right? the very reason for divorce is a marriage! no marriage..no divorce!
but its not always right too...many of our parents are still living in harmony..then why not our generation?
is it ego? finance? compatibility? extra marital affair? mental illness? reasons are numerous and not one will accept the fault of ones own!
but then again..i am told my thought is wrong! may be i was wrong....marriage as an institution is set for us and we tend to move away from it by shunning the norms!
basically i see it as loss of trust and a sense of insecurity! when one can overcome it...am sure anyone can live with it!
may be even i need to overcome it asap..or else...i gotta be living with my eternal singleton status!
hopefully i would find someone worth living with... soon!
not losers for sure!
12 comments:
now thats some thought :)
way to go !! i liked this writeup!!.Well i have been doing a deep dive recently!! I also found out a very strange reasons for breakups-parent's indulgence.Parents rub their experiences on children ,listening to just one version which further make the problem complex.
Would love to read more from the viewers
Marriage is not the cause of divorce even in 2009. Most divorces these days occur within months of marriage. Couple having child or children are not divorcing . In earlier days parents used to encourage couple to have a child first. If the couple beget a child parents of both boy and girl stay assured of a permanent marriage. Child(ren)keep(s) parents united eternally
Whom are you angry on?
One SWE in Hyderabad divorced her husband because he did not like her dog. She said dog is like my child . I repeat a child prevents divorce
The cause of death is birth . What a logic? I say a child prevents divorce. Some girls these days are having a child before marriage with child`s father . Day before yesterdat the Supreme court ruled that in such a living in relation the surving partner can claim LIC amount even if there is no marriage. The institution of marriage is evolving socially and even biologically.Can`t have a kid? Have a pet . Believe me within six months after you love your puppy you are married.
Problems were always there with marriages. It think it's the affordability to walk away from the problems rather than live with them or try to resolve them. May be because of financial stability for everyone.. May be because of increasingly nuclear families that have little involvement of elders.. Or something else..
Anyway, all the best..
The problem is not Marraige...it is WEDDING...
When people just WED ....it wont last.Marriage is between Hearts and Minds...our society has more WEDDINGS THAN MARRIAGEs...
I hope some people here...understand the difference...
or try a Vitamin tablet.
Many people are troubled by the irregularities in their life,what if everyone thinks on your grounds ? NO LIFE NO PROBLEMS? isnt it sounding crazy.
What requires in a marriage or any relationship is trust and the definition of trust varies from person to person,financial security,emotional security whatever it might be but people always love to be in some sort of secured atmosphere,and when insecurities creep in they tend to break.
I agree with somal on this that now a days we are not seeing marriages but weddings.........when there is no relationship between the hearts its impossible for the two people to be together for a longer period.
Also as u said some reasons might be like this and they can be overcome like under:
ego : ego will not come into picture if you feel your partner is no different from you,it wont creep in when you start enjoying his/her success as much as yours.
finance : people should stop thinking my money your money and should learn to say its our money and its for our future.
compatibility : There will be differences in the behavior and habits of two siblings born and brought up in a same house ,its not a surprise that a lot many habits of yours might not match your husbands/wifes but thats not the end of the road.....initially it will be a bit tough but slowly with time people change as habits are made they are not born with them.
extra marital affair : i dont believe in this and i feel if you cant be committed to someone u should never marry anyone.
sry guess i made a long post here......anyways as u wrote please over come your insecurities towards marriage or relationship and see life with a different perspective and i hope and know you have someone who would love you more than what you do yourself.Remember one thing LOVE IS THERE EVERYTHING IS THERE .........Love not there ....whatever you have it becomes immaterial after a while.Love teaches everything and wins over everyone.
cheers
j3m
i liked the last comment,by Mr.thakore. just because some one from the family want us to marry a person, we go ahead and finally end up in divorce. i wud first love then marry.
Well.. Swa I somehow feel a divorce has nothing to do with marriage... yeah i agree with you that our parents are living in harmony but I dont really call that happiness,most of them must have got married even before they knew what marriage is..so that might be a compromise..and its also older generation where there was limited or no choice..whereas its diff now..we have a hell lotta choice around us to compromise..
I also feel Marriage is a link up between to families bringing together new relationships so you juss cant see a person talk to them and get married.. its always better to know them closely before getting married..if you feel they arent compatible with the way you think, you call it off at an earlier stage..and if there are disturbances at the next level u mutually take a break which is divorce.. divorce is always mutual even according to the law I guess..there might be many reasons for a divorce..no one can go deep into it ..all we got to do is strive to build the relationship and make sure its new everyday so that either of you dont get bored of the other...
So, rather than juss sitting and thinking the pros and cons of it.. juss try it .. only then you will know.. Afterall, only if you drive the vehicle is when you will get the license...
Hope I made sense ..
Cheers !!
Keers :)
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