I didn’t know what to except when I was being wheeled into the theater for my C Section. 10 minutes into the room, the doctor announced that Baby was out. I was blank as I listened to her crying and had no idea how to pacify a crying baby. The next 4 days at the hospital went by in a glimpse. Visitors, nurses taking care of me, medicines to keep me painfree and the attention that I received from everyone- every second. After I reached home, reality dawned upon me. My struggles with the realization started from then. My body was caved and no wonder it’s called Rebirth of woman. I was as new as my newborn just that I could express my pain and while she couldn’t.
I didn’t know what to do when she cried. Was she crying for milk? For diaper? For burp? For sleep? For boredom? Or is there something else that I am unable to find out? Every moment was stressful for me.
On top, I had to breastfeed her and pump at the same time. I hardly produced any milk (read Here), and my breasts were hurting. It was as if someone chopped them with an axe and I was each time trying to put them together to work. It was very very painful. I would sit and cry while breastfeeding and cry more while pumping. I couldn’t bear the pain.
I was sleepless and any body that goes through the process of delivering needs rest. But new moms will never get rest. I was sleep deprived and it added fuel to my already struggling body. At times, I would tell my husband that I don’t need any of this and I wished we didn’t have to go through the process of delivering. Then in few seconds, I would take the baby and apologize for saying anything like this. I never understood what was going on with me until I told my friend and she said I might be having postpartum blues. She asked me to meet with support groups and see if I can feel relieved.
My husband supported a great deal by standing behind me. He told me to just take rest and sleep and he would take care of the baby. He assured me that I am equally important and so is my health and I shouldn’t be worrying so much. He told me that he is with me in this in each step. Those words meant a lot to me. I searched for tips on how to overcome postpartum blues and followed everything.
I stayed happy. I reminded myself that this is a bliss and the pain is temporary.
I promised my husband that I will take help and won’t hesitate to seek medical advice if I feel depressed.
I constantly reminded myself that babies have no rule book and as long as we provide them the care they need, they will grow fine. We worry unnecessarily!
I came out of postpartum blues in couple of weeks. But ladies, postpartum blues and postpartum depression is real. If you feel you are going through it, then don’t hesitate to discuss with a family member and Dont hesitate to take help from your doctor. You are not alone and you are not the only one. Don’t feel bad or guilty. It’s not happening because you did something. You have given birth and your body went through surge of emotions. So, it’s ok to cry and when you think or your family member thinks you need help, TAKE IT. Seek medical advice if necessary. If you have given birth and went through that pain, then you can definitely fight the blues out 👍🏻
Wish you a happy motherhood. Hugs and love.