Sunday, November 06, 2011

The small thin indian wedding

Contrary to the "big fat Indian wedding" tag, my blog, probably is the story of cheapest wedding anyone ever had in life. Even, an eloped wedding might have costed the price of travel by train, bus and minimal logistics. But, the wedding that I am going to talk about, is the cheapest possible Indian wedding. You will be stunned at the total cost and this can happen! Read further for an interesting story.

After the traditional wedding, My husband and I, went to Registrar office to register our marriage. So technically, we were getting married for the second time. Our parents joined us to be the witnesses. Now, don't ask me how much we spent in our traditional wedding. I must say, it was quite minimal, as mine and my husband's family- both are generous and understood the hiccups associated with getting married big way. So we kept it simple and 'strictly close friends and family affair'. So, following the wedding, came the procedure to register it. Usually, everybody has this picture that the registrar office will take time, money and blah blah.

We took our wedding pictures and went to the registrar office. The office assistant asked me to fill a form. We bought the form for Rs 10 and filled it. After our parents signed the form as witnesses, he asked to fix a stamp. It costed us Rs 2. We did. After 15 minutes, we received our marriage certificates!

My father was still apprehensive. He was asking me if I need to pay 'some' amount. We were reluctant and confused whom to ask if we have to pay "extra" amount. But everyone was doing ones job. It is their duty to grant us a marriage certificate. And we got it. So, whom shall we pay extra amount and for what??? I said, no need to pay anybody and we left the office with our certificates in hand.

So, the total cost of the wedding was Rs 12. Probably, the least amount paid by any married couple and it is the actual price! So, next time, when you go to any "sarkari" office, make sure you pay the right amount. No need to feed the already stuffed mouths and rotten stomachs.

Be right and do right.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

a lesson to learn

While, the whole nation is going rage over corruption, I am here to contribute my own little part. Sharing this story which might inspire you!

It happened to me 2 years ago (2009). I was going to a post office (Begumpet, Hyderabad) which was pretty close to where I lived. I thought of walking instead of driving, as it would take me more time in horrendous traffic. So, walking for 5 minutes was a better option for me in many ways. Since I was going there for the first time, I had to ask someone to get the directions. All I had to do was, cross the road and take the bridge (above Begumpet MMTS station). As simple as that!

As I started walking, I could not figure out how to get off the bridge. Since the traffic was heavy, I assumed, everybody crosses through the station bridge. I entered the station and took the inside bridge to the opposite platform. As I was about to exit, the Ticket collector approached me and asked for the ticket.

I told him, I was just crossing the bridge. He said, I need to take the outside bridge, not the inside one and since, I entered the train station, I need to show him a ticket. I apologised and said, I am ready to pay for it.

He said, as I don't have a ticket, I am unauthorised to use the platform. So, he gave me a penalty of Rs 200 for wrongfully entering the train station (read it as local train station with just 2 platforms).

As I came out of the station, I was bit upset as I had to pay Rs 200 for unknowingly entering the station. But I had a satisfaction, as I stood by the law. I paid the penalty sans nepotism. Yes, both my parents have been working for Indian Railways since 30+ years and they are now in very good positions!

A mistake is a mistake and it has no exceptions.

I stand by law. I am against corruption. What about you?

Swathi Sriram

Friday, September 23, 2011

best signs of worst FB pms

if it was not for that stupid facebook, i would have been much much regular on my blog. but since i came to the US, I have been wandering on FB to be in touch with my friends and do some time pass. but offlate, I am kind of losing my privacy and realised how important my blog is. well, to start with, i guess the Fb people are having PMS now. it is acting weird and we can't do much about it.

before i talk about it, let me talk about pms. for many men, who are unaware of what it is, you are free to do some wikipedia thing or google it for more examples. now, if you know about it, then i need to give much gyan to you.
for women, who do not know about it, i would say you are lucky and stop reading this post. As reading about pms and Fb will only worsen your life. and women who are well versed with pms, again, i need not discuss and share much about it.

So, Fb is having pms now. let me list some best signs of worst FB pms

1) is clumsy and not bothered about it
2) acting weird and losing manners
3) is worried about everybody under sun and on earth (may be beyond earth)
4) is screaming loud and hampering with others' lives
5) and there is no reason behind anything
6) the chemical reactions are so vigor that it is unable to take load of reactors like me
7) is crying without a reason

now with these signs, you can not disagree with me. and it is like, you got to have lots of patience to understand what it is like and after that you will get used to it!

happy fbing.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Pros and Cons of social Networking

I just cleaned my friends list on FB and this one small thought triggered me to write a post on Pros and cons of social Networking. I know, with enlightening media, breaking news, experienced friends and other stuff, you all are aware of pros and cons. But, who cares, I decided to write about it anyways! So, here goes my anatomy.

I am not dividing the list, am just scribbling my thoughts. so, you choose which ever suits you the best!

1) We become public through social networking sites and if we were ever introverts in our school/college days, we can come out of that cocoon and be a public figure with more than a centurion friends!

2) we can write our mind. irrespective of the language code!

3) We tend to meet our old school/college/ neighbourhood/ not-at-all related friends. And we add them, and nothing happens after that! They are just lying in our list forever and we dont have anything to talk.

4) we get connected to some famous people and again nothing happens. Because, this time, we are lying in their friends list and they dont care to talk to us!

5) we can see whats happening in their lives, which has no productivity factor. Yes, we get absolutely nothing by peeping into their pics. Sometimes, we just sleep with pinch of jealous if the other person is seen enjoying.

6) We can do a 'peek a boo' thing on those profiles whom we dont talk with but still have interest on whats going on!

7) We can know about who is wedding whom/when/where knowing the fact that we are not invited and even if invited, we cant go.

8) we can put our pics of romance/ intimate things that have to shared only between the closest ones. But, anyways, we dont care, the site is giving us space, so we will upload!

9) we can support some faltu discussion started by an intellectual who has nothing to do in life except to trigger fights.

10) we get notifications of posts which we are not even interested in and we are never subscribed to!

11) we can play stupid games which help us in increasing our weight, eye sight and decrease our thinking abilities.

12) we can boast about our life and criticise/scold/ accuse others' if we dont like. In a way, we can use our fundamental right without any hesitation.

13) Random people add us and we feel elated that we are now important to those who know nothing about us.

14) some people think, its a shame if someone is not on any social networking sites and he is illiterate in the world of social networking!

15) there is no room for privacy and we dont care! afteral, everybody is talking about us!

16) sometimes we like/comment/ tweet/ scrap out of compulsion.

17) you meet a person in real life, you meet him/her everyday and also get connected through these sites so that you assure yourself that YOU ARE CONNECTED every moment.

18) we delete some people and we think we deleted them forever! As we lose the differentiating capacity of real and virtual life.

19) we don't realise that those who love us need no social networking sites to know us!

20) we drag and drop people into different circles thinking that we did something that we couldnot do in real life! placing them in different zones!

you can add some more if something comes up in your mind!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

gulab appam-innovation out of failure

I already have a blog on cookery (
I am not a great cook, infact I was even a huge fan of "I hate cooking community on some social networking sites. But life changes for good/bad and here I am, blogging about various food items. Now I am writing
about a dish which is an innovation out of series of
failures. So, follow me if you need more information.

go to a super market and buy a readymade mix of gulab jamun pa
cket. If you have a spouse, crib about how you have not eaten sweets for ages, the packet will find room in your cart asap. If you are single (like I was until sometime ago), have the privilege to grab it. Now come home, and start mixing the contents according to what's written there. Now if you are ambitious and over confident like me, add little more water and empty the packet. The
dough becomes pasty and useless. since you are swamped by all the guilt in the world, call a couple of people to find out if they have some extra powder. if you are an anti-social person, then sea
rch on internet or google it. Don't get surprised if you stumble upon my blog! ahem ahem

now after failing all attempts, fossil out the 'all purpose flour' in your kitchen cabinets and add it to the useless dough which is s
taring at you and bleeding through its heart. afte
r you add some to it, now make round balls and put them in hot oil. once you discover that the balls (read as gulab jamun balls) are half cooked (not at all cooked), you will wonder what to do next! so now try this...

make the round balls (balls are always round..but not when I make...) and press them in your hand. they become flat (appam). fry them and dump them in the sugar water.

after sometime you will realise that the gulab appam (gulab flats) are fuming over the weird attempt and are highly pissed. they swell and yo
u might think of shifting them from one container into another!

so this innovation called, gulab appam, is ready to serve (to whom?)...
for me, I am waiting for my man to come home and relish them (god knows!).

Try them!

on huge demand, here is the pic- Patents reserved!

Sunday, May 08, 2011

the moron is gone!

I am giving a slight break to my MIM series as there is a burning (read as buried) hot topic to be talked about. Our great Maha Osama is no more and how can I not write something about him! afteral, he left so many imprints on this earth (even dinosaurs missed doing that )

May be I was among those first few -who posted something on a social networking site about his death. minutes after the news was broke, I dint miss a chance to express my happiness over his death! I was never so happy over someone's death. few hours before his death, we were in constitution avenue in washington DC touring and adoring the beauty of the city! and few hours, the whole place is crowded with folks cheering for the nation! somehow, there were few threads which connected me to his life...let me put it this way!

When the master-blaster exploded the WTC towers, I learnt about them just few hours before. in one of our classes during my graduation, we talked about the WTC building and I aspired to work there after I finished my studies. and this moron blew them up!

when the whole world was searching for him, I happened to watch the movie 'tere bin laden' which is a story based out of the country where he was hiding (was really hiding????) and for a moment i thought, may be he could be found there..and bingo- he was there!

So, after these very small coincidences, the psycho is dead but is now haunting everyone through spam. his videos are spamming many sites and his soul is continuing to torture people across the world in this way. I heard, he is resting in the ocean- I pity the sea flora and fauna :(
I wish he was buried in the same trash/incinerator in his backyard. Oh no, it will become another tourist spot, as his hide out has already become one!

now that he is no more, I end this blog on a happy note!
'and then everybody lived happily ever after!'

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

MIM- where racism is appreciated

In this post, I wish to talk about someone who talks like a racist but infact loves them! confused? even I was, but coudlnot stop appreciating his definition of love after few conversations. As usual, after pokes, interests, likes and hellos, we were chatting for the first time (may be last time too)!
He was a handsome dude with nice body shody and shaven head and a cute smile. i like people who have a tooth on a tooth! like Maushumi chatterjee (google for her pic). I always asked my mom if I can have an extra tooth on my front tooth. I found it very attractive and attention seeking character!
well this guy just has everything! he seemed to be pumped up with nice biceps and triceps and huge build! as I mentioned earlier, that I wasn't much into 'look at the body and then say yes' types. but who will say no to a well build man. and there he is with an interest in my profile and willing to talk to me! whoaa...seems like i have hit a jack'pot'

so our conversations started and i found out that unlike other NRIs, he is brought up in america completely and considers himself an american!
wait there, when you say you are an american, then why are you trying to marry an indian girl????
so i shot my question and our conversations went ahead like this-

him: well..nice question. I feel that Indian girls are traditional
me: really? can you define 'being traditional'?
him: you know take care of my parents, take care of home, raise kids...
me: oh..wont american girls do that?
him: they do..but you see indian girls are different! are not getting my point
me: oh..then explain
him: i have had lot of american girlfriends, but i wanted to marry an indian girl
me: ohh ( need american girl friend to flirt with and an indian wife to flaunt! grrr)( the hidden feminist/women supporter in me was waking up...)
him: so, i decided to marry an indian woman! and above all, my parents wont approve if i marry a white girl.
me: oh then why this particular community and caste? you can go for any indian girl?
him: oh my mom and dad are particular about it! mom says we find nice girls here
me: you mean?
him: you know indian girls do not have boy friends before marriage and they are clean
me: (i had a lump in my throat) you assume I never had a boyfriend?
him: well infact I dont care but you know I like their skin?
me: wow! interesting. now whats with the skin?
him: you see they have mocha skin and its very sexy. there is nothing in white skin. but mocha/brown skin turns me on!
me: aww....ok what if someone with mocha skin turns white after coming to US?
him: oh no..they can't. you see they will retain their color throughout...and I love to have someone with that skin. I had white girlfriends....and there is no fun!
me: i think my internet connection is going off. will catch ya later. bye for now!

and I never got back to him! for sometime, I felt like I was a coffee shop and someone is trying to order mocha with extra powder! I couldnot understand if he was making racists remarks or appreciating me! whatever, I gave him the liberty to search for more 'mocha' girls!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

MIM- where I understand role plays

I dont remember the chronological order. But I shall try to put most of my experiences one after another. So here comes the most memorable one, which gave me a thump! Here it is...

As usual, I received an express interest in matrimony site and I responded. I never went by the looks, but certainly gave weight to education and current position. Oh yeah, I definitely did not wait to see 'if his heart is good then no need of good job' types! sorry...for me profession was equally important. So, I accepted this gentleman's request and after exchanging an email, we met on chat and the conversations started. after few minutes I asked him to send me a couple of pictures apart from those which were on the site. Then in seconds, I received an email with attachments which had some pics. after opening a pic, I almost jumped out of my bed. I was more than horrified to see a knife in his hand and asked him immediately why he is holding a knife as if he is murdering someone? He said, he liked that pose! wow, killer attitude...ahh??? hmm
It surely surprised me, but I still gave it a chance and continued talking to him. after nearly half an hour of conversations, we dint have anything to talk. The 'what else' state began and then instantly he asked me if I like to play? I was a bit skeptical as of what to answer...but I said, I used to when I was a kid, and now I hardly play, as it would not look good to do that on roads!

As a kid, I remember playing every damn game/sport on the streets and jump around and hide on the of trees too. I was more like a tomboy and adventurous and my mother had no option to stop me from doing so. I had this gang of girls including my sister, sans, and we would play with other boys in our street. From cricket to seven picks, I would play anything.

So after a round of nostalgia, his buzz brought me back to the present and made me realise how I missed everything. So, this super sports person asked me again if I liked to play! I said, no and asked him if he does. for which, he said yes and this is how our conversation went on

him: I like role plays
me: role plays? what are they? never heard of them!
(I only knew role plays as in theaters and I remember enacting the role of Meerabai during my school days! I was kind of happy for this guy as I felt, theater people surely have bundles of creativity and thought for a second that being from software, he still possessed the interest for plays and all)
him: well you don't know role plays? its like I am spaceship and you are alien....Am doctor you are nurse, I am the warrior and you the shooter...
me: ehhh??? what kind of game is this? is it something to do with PS3 or V?
(hardly I knew about playstation and V, but gave it a guess)
him: no, in real...
me: real? how do you do that? with whom do you play?
him: like with my gf...Oh I used to have gf..infact I had many gfs..but u know only one at a time! no two-timing..
me: (wow..what a big heart!) sorry, I don't know which plays you are talking about..

I was quite confused by this time and understood some miscommunication is surely happening between us, so I called my roomy and showed her our conversation. She immediately asked me to cut it with the guy and explained what such plays are!
I was totally shocked and could not take it further! meet a girl for the first time and you tell your fantasies?
Thanks man, I am surely the wrong person to ping! Go ahead and good luck with your search!
Thats how I dropped a wicket and took sometime to understand the roles and plays! ahem ahem

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Men I Met- series

Now that I am married, I am very confident about revealing the great stories of my interactions with different men from different parts of the world. Yeah, for my great matrimony thing, I had the privilege (ran out of options) to interact with different men (read as aliens) who are born to interact with me and be part of this great blog.

my interactions mostly chats (and only once), some emails, some phone calls- made me realise that there are many different species in the universe. To start with, the bifurcation happens when homo-sapiens (Latin name for HUMAN) divides into MAN and WOMAN. then, MAN gets divided into intelligent, smart, dumb ass, frustrated, perverted, educated, fake, humorous, genuine, egoistic, and so on and so forth. The sub-divisions are like algae which keep on dividing and the more you are into them, the more you get to know about the variety.
I am dedicating this series to such men, who should seriously be banned and transported to pluto or some un-discovered planet.

well, I am not writing about men who I am still in touch with. yes, I met some real cute guys who are very good, now happily married and still find out if i am doing well.

I am only writing about those, who left foot prints (yeah they have so much dirt) and inspired me to start this blog. this is just an introduction blog. I shall not mention the names and places. I will only talk about my interactions and the jhatkas I got from them!

My hubby and I enjoy conversing about them, I explain him all the events in an animated way! So, I assume he will enjoy reading this blog (he, in fact asked me to write a book!) and you guys too!

And now the series starts.....

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

W-turn in my life

ahem ahem....i know its been too long. corrupted lappy, almost left job, wedding chaos, new husband and a new country...everything put me in a loop of "the busy life" and made me very very busy without any work and pay. i almost stopped visiting blogs and that depressed me further.

My life took a "W" turn, yes not just "U" turn, but I call it W turn -as the changes are totally irreversible and I cant even look back. life changed miraculously and like many women, i am referring different dictionaries to understand the meaning of this so called new life. :)

from salwar suits to saris, rupees to dollars, single to mingled, afternoon wake up to early morning wake up...everything is so new. Infact my flight from Hyd itself was memorable. As usual, my plane thing was a bit adventurous but I landed quite safely to my hubby's surprise.

Since my first step, I brought snow storm within a week. i remotely remember buying any sweater during my stay in India. My hometown has just 2 seasons- summer and peak summer. But this land seems quite different. While I was flexible in my clothing in India from sleeveless to capris, I am supposed to wear, rather drape myself completely. While I survived on Maggie and Pizzas in India, I am living on rice and variety of sabjis made at home (cooked by me). While I saw lambs, chicken, goats, cattle and many other animals on the roads and next to our houses, I see them in different forms in the menu cards (grrr)! Roads are empty, I hardly see anyone crossing the road, jumping the big/huge dividers, gossiping outside houses...
Most of the world I see is- through the window pane of our car and I am forgetting to walk.

While I am trying to adjust to my new life, I am also giving some surprises to my hubby (he calls them shocks- but I dont care!). I washed his - never washed- Iphone in washing machine...and promised him more and more services in the future.

Life is totally new for me here and am going through slight culture shock. Wish me good luck!