Monday, November 30, 2009

a wedding of emotions

"my daughter is coming to your house, please take...." aunty's teary voice was interrupted by trayee's (my best friend forever, my soulmate)
buaji- 'dont say my daughter...say your daughter in law...". aunty looked up with moist eyes and put down the phone....trayee's status changed overnight from being a daughter to a daughter-in-law and it seems now she has to be called as your daughter-in-law than my daughter even by her own parents. i believe its not the case of just trayee. its with every woman on this earth!

i overheard the conversations and basant, trayee's ever lasting love and now husband, repeated the same lines and said that aunty has been crying and its becoming difficult to console her. while i am considered to be too good at consoling and counselling people at difficulties, i thought it is not appropriate to console a mother while her daughter is leaving for her in law's place. i went inside..and aunty saw me and held out her hands and said, "moonu (trayee's nickname) yeh karo...moonu woh karo...moonu bhaat khecho? moonu sojao...moonu moonu moonu...moine kabhi bhi moonu ko chorke nahi raha..ab dorr logta hai..moonu waha kaise reh payegi..bachchi hai". my eyes were moist, there was a lump in my throat and i realised - i was moved.

i attended many weddings. my cousins, my friends, relatives...many of them got married. but trayee's wedding is something different. it taught me how an institution called marriage is formed and how relationships change overnight! how a mother feels when her daughter leaves! how a father manages the whole wedding gala without a trace of tear! how relatives, though we dont see them for ages, turn out during our wedding and support us. how our in-laws, whether they like the wedding or not, try to maintain a compose and let the marriage materialise.

while parents are happy and elated that their kids are getting married, the change in the marital status equally bothers them.
happiness of getting married
excitement about the new status
frustration with the over work
irritation with the last minute errands
sadness of leaving our loved ones
anger of some unwanted happenings
a wedding has all the colours and emotions attached to it! a wedding of emotions should be seen not just as an occasion to flaunt jewellery, saris, cuisines and money. i see it as solemnising different relationships and networking of love and affection.
a wedding of emotions it is :)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

unanswered questions

there are zillions of questions in my mind! there are millions of doubts which need to be clarified...they bother me..the thoughts smother me!
and am left with unanswered and unsolved theories ......

1) society? what is it? do we live for it or do we form it? are we just part of it?
when a woman is beaten by her husband...society doesnt may just create a hype for few hours or days and the story is back to normal...
when a man is struggling for job and having problems running in his family...society never helps him! he has to struggle and fight for his own existence and at the end...he is the winner or loser and the surroundings do play no role!

2) when i say that i want to adopt a baby and find another reason for my asked not i cant be accepted! my question is accepted by whom? people around me? those who never bother when i need a shoulder? those who have no clue about how i am living or struggled for my life? relatives, who don't even know my age and what i need in life? who are just interested in whom i have an affair with or how much property am i actually saving?

3) why cant we choose and live with a partner (if at all essential) on our own and go for it? why do we need to go for tailor made- horoscope matched persons and live with obligation! why cant marriage come after we live-know-understand each other and see how it is like rather than breaking a marriage? why are we always stopped from doing so saying that "you are not in US and it doesnt go well here" kind of statements?

4) why dont we have the choice to say yes to what we like and no to what we dont! why do we need to throw a fake smile and get upset in life?

5) why cant we create our own paths in whatever we like than actually settling for those dusted paths created by unknown travellers?

6) why dont people understand that there are still good people existing in this world and all are not buggers who just mess around with anyone they come across...

7) why cant we have individual choices and live with humanity than getting involved in others life for no use?

these are just some of many.....