Friday, July 29, 2016

The wrong side of Feminism

Feminism- According to Feminism means- The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

Fair enough. Every woman and man should advocate for equal rights. I repeat- every WOMAN and every MAN. But when it comes to feminism, many people misuse and more than often, abuse the term. I am a firm believer of feminism. But I also advocate for men's rights; for, we all are equal and we all contribute for the existence. After all, we all CO-EXIST.

But, whenever I see many self proclaimed feminists, I feel scared and also pity their half baked knowledge of the whole concept. Let me explain you certain points that are voiced out by women very wrongly.

1) Male bashing-

Here, feminism is not male bashing. Just by thrashing men and generalizing or calling all of them as male chauvinists/rapists or abusers doesn't make you a feminist. No, all men are not abusive. In fact, just like women, many men suffer in their daily lives and struggle to make the ends meet. There are many men who also advocate for equal rights and respect and help us all grow. Generalizing doesn't make women heroes and it wouldn't bridge the gap. So, no, feminism is not about male bashing. When we talk about feminism, we should talk about bringing up women's rights, but not male bashing.

2) Body lovers-
I see many posts on how women are very comfortable with their bodies and how they want to voice out their opinions. Let me tell you my story. I am size 14, with love handles that pop up from my clothing. I do face comments from many people and sometimes, uncanny suggestions as why don't you exercise or go on diet! But hang on. I face these from women most of the times. And now, that doesn't mean that I have to go all public showcasing my body or exposing my love handles or flaunting my cleavage. If I wear a dress, I wear it with dignity and elan and make sure, I earn respect than shout out loud that "here is my cleavage and here are my love handles, do whatever you want". No. This is not feminism. Every woman is entitled to wear her choice of dressing. But she has to wear it because she fell in love with the dress and herself not because she wants to prove to the world that showing cleavage or love handles or extra muscle is ok. I PERSONALLY feel, it is wrong. I give compliments to random women on streets for how beautiful they are. Beauty should be seen; Not forced upon. If you have cleavage, show it with dignity, don't flaunt it force it on others. Wear a bikini, no matter what size you are. Adore and love your body, because it is yours. Not because, you want to shut others. 

3) Period mongers-

This is something new that is grossly emerging in the era. Women show up in bloody clothing because they are on periods and also to make it loud and clear that- it is ok to have them. Let me tell you something.
I suffer from Endometriosis. I have been having excruciating pain since I was a teenager and I have been vocal about it. I tell my employers and colleagues (male and female) upfront about how bad my situation would be during those 2-3 days of the month and how I need some rest. Fortunately, all my colleagues and bosses have been extremely good with me and always cared for me. I am talking about my life in India, a decade ago. Yes, men do understand that we go through pain. We need not prove it by showing up with bloody clothing. These are sensitive issues and men are definitely sensible enough to understand. Women are strong by nature and we need not prove time and again so loudly that, "though we are on period, we can achieve heights". A strong woman would never do that. She will silently make her path and for her painful periods are just passing clouds. I underwent multiple procedures in my life and nothing has stopped me ever. If I have to achieve something, I need not yell saying I am on period. 

4) Social media dysentery-

Many women take it to social media and stink it with their verbal diarrhea on posts about men. Enough I say. Just by using slang words or cursing certain sections of society by using your feminist attitude doesn't make you one. A true feminist will advocate for the rights and paves way for many others than show dead ends. Social media is a brilliant platform to voice your opinions and thoughts. 

5) Competitors -

Most of the times, we hear words are if given a chance, women will go ahead of men. again, this is not a competition bewteen genders. Feminists do not create wars or competitions. Feminists give opportunity and show paths. We are not here to compete with men. We are here to advocate for women. 

Let us not be those fake/loud/irrelevant feminists. Let us be responsible and sensible towards all genders. After all, we all co-exist and we need to understand each other. More power to all. 


Ramesh said...

Excellent piece and sensible. Probably MEN and also WOMEN need to read this and start pondering over it, if not able to agree. Keep writing Swathi all the best.

deeps said...

That’s not just for some debate.. you do make sense… maybe some situations prompt both male n female to flare up in their own way..

Rads said...

I never really understood what is feminism and what it means to be a feminist. But I guess people do misuse it, just like everything else, to serve their selfish needs.