Fork in the road

“What are you aspiring to become when you grow old?”

“Oh my grand daughter will be a bureaucrat”

“We want to her to be a doctor”

“I think she should study engineering, there are plenty of seats available in every college and she can also earn lot of money”

“Your horoscope says you will be a scientist”

“You should probably become a singer because you sing well”

These sounds always haunted me. When I reached my teens, everybody except me, had dreams about my career. Who ever visited our house, would ask me what I wanted to become! I am not sure if they would seriously help me, if I say that I wish to become a sky diving instructor. But they definitely want to know what I would become and then give me some lecture about, “how I should study well and dream about my future” and then leave peacefully to their houses after they dump all their frustration on me. They do it, may be because their kids never listen to them, or may be it gives them some psychological satisfaction and a feel of achievement when they throw free knowledge!

Whatever it was, these rhyming sounds of what I would become always haunted me! I was literally smothered by the very idea of “no-idea-what-to-do” after I grow up. As a kid, I was into many cultural activities like singing, dancing, theater and each time I performed on stage, the spectators would assume, I would become a legend in the respective field. My extended family thought I would become a bureaucrat because; having a car in the household and some power in hand always fantasized them. They always slept through my eyes and dreamt through their minds.

In high school, there were many choices as to what to choose for college. When I saw my friends how clear they were in their vision, it surprised me. I always wonder how they know what they wanted to do. Either a doctor or an engineer! They know what to choose between these 2, because these two professions were trends at that time and also moneymaking jobs. I felt very suffocated with just 2 options. I wanted more. I never saw myself fitting into those shoes because I never wanted those shoes in first place! Yet, I dint know what I want.

I still remember the incident when my mother and I were having a conversation about a dress.

“Mom, I think I will wear it during my graduation days”

“Oh, so you want to do just some degree and not medicine?” my mom said instantly.

“Oh my, when did I say that?” I choked

“You just said that you want to wear it in your graduation, but you dint say that you will wear it for medical college” she grumped.

I instantly realized that I have to be real careful while choosing words and should not just mention whatever comes into my mind. Yet, it was very difficult for me to concentrate on many things. Days went by and finally the time came when I had to make a decision what my major would be. I thought I should also aspire to become a doctor like my father! Oh no, don’t get me wrong; my father is not a doctor. He too always aspired to become a doctor like my grandfather who served in military as a doctor. So, the concept of aspirations started form my father and inherited to me. Eventually my father never became a doctor!

But I love to become a doctor and I know it is a difficult task to pass the medical exams. It is no less than rocket science for me. I wasn’t pretty sure, if I can grill myself to become a doctor like my peers, who study for 18 hours a day. I can hardly keep my eyes on the books for 5 long minutes. 18 hours is a nightmare for me.

I can’t try in theaters because, my parents for who even movie posters are a matter of disgrace, having their daughter in theaters is an insult! They will disown me if I reveal my intentions. What about becoming a bureaucrat. I felt becoming a doctor was much easier. Options like singing and dancing- ah no, they don’t fetch me any money.

Apparently, I chose to become a doctor and majored in biological sciences. My real nightmares started then. I saw my peers studying like aliens. They don’t know what they have to eat for lunch, but they definitely know how the rat’s digestive system works.

I tried to make a few friends in my class, but no one was interested because I always claimed that becoming a doctor is a funny thing and knowing what we are, we should not be doing it. I was poor in understanding the plants and animals and also my classmates. I could never draw pictures. I argued with my lecturer in zoology class when he tried to make fun of Amoeba (shapeless single less creature) drawn by me. He mentioned in the class that he never saw such a shapeless creature. I claimed that amoeba is a shapeless creature and we can draw it the way we want!

My botany lecturer made a huge red mark in my answer sheet one day and showed it to me asking what it was. Her face frowned when I mentioned that it was a potato.

“Potato??” She asked me with her eyebrows in air.

“Yes mam, it is a potato” I replied.

“But potato doesn’t look like this. It is neither round, nor toroid, what is this?”

“Mam, that’s why it is a potato. A shapeless vegetable!”

She gave me zero marks and warned me to learn how to draw.

These incidents made a deep impact on me. I realized that becoming a doctor was not just my cup of tea. After swimming through many such hard waves, I finally reached the shore, but just a different shore. Definitely not the one I had to reach. But who cares, a shore is a shore. If things were so sure, then even Columbus and Vasco De Gama might not have discovered USA and India respectively. So, a shore is a shore.

My parents were more than upset, as I could not become a doctor. But the real forks in road appeared now. What to do in life? I had to choose between 2 major careers. Either become a microbiologist or choose a different path. I chose the different one. I chose the road hardly travelled. I assured my father that I wish to become the first of all than one in many.

I chose to become an environmentalist. The road hardly travelled by any. If not for this fork in the road, I would not have become what I am today. An ardent environmentalist, a young achiever and a researcher in a prestigious Environmental school. These were just few of many credentials that I acquired for having to take a right decision when I had to. Now all my classmates are just doctors! But I travelled around the world, met people, did assignments, achieved many degrees and awards.

Today -I am what I am.

My first job as a Tutor

Just like any other student, I always wished I had my pocket money for little expenses. But, it wasn’t like that in my life. My parents always made sure that I finished my education before I took up any job. So, going to job was a big no-no, until I am done with my studies and I had no choice but to wait to finish my college.

But things changed when I saw a small ad calling for tutors. I attended the interview and my happiness new no bounds when I was offered a job as a tutor to teach pre-school students. I thought I could cover my expenses and also interact with the kids and have fun together. So, it was catering my needs to go to college, earn money for sweet nothings and also have fun with kids. I could not ask for more!

Finally the day arrived when I had to go for tutoring. My nerves were acting up with excitement and my legs were trembling. Probably, I could have had a nervous breakdown if I were to teach in college. I convinced myself that all would be well as I was to teach small kids and need not worry about my skill and talent. Hardly I knew that I was about to hit a beehive!

My first day started off with my introduction to the kids and helping them with their homework. It was a hassle free day and I went home with ease of mind. As usual, the next day was quite normal and I went to teach the kids. But, things were not the same. It seems, the kids ganged up even before I arrived and had some conspiracy against me! Least I knew what was going to happen to me.

As soon as I arrived, the kids greeted me and I asked them open their books to complete their homework. I was too tired as it was a hectic day in college. Unknowingly I yawned and a kid started laughing loudly. I was embarrassed and apologized and asked them to resume their work. Suddenly one of the kids said she had some questions for me. I was curious to know what they were and asked her to shoot them.

She asked me who my favourite movie star in the movies is. I had a lump in my throat as it was least expected and I did not know how to handle it. But I convinced her that I would answer her if she finished her homework. Then 4 other kids said, they wanted to ask me questions and would complete homework only after I answer them all. I had no clue what to do. I agreed to their demands and they bombarded me with questions like my favourite movie star, favourite song and least did I expect when they asked me to sing! I had to agree to their demands and convince them every time. Finally after a grueling session, I was relieved from the interrogation and I requested them to complete their work. After I went home, I felt elated that I could carry some memories from the incident. But least did I know that there were more on the way.

Days went by and gradually I developed an unknown bonding with my kids. Everyday there were new dynamics, new discussions and new things. I still remember the day when I went to the class in a hurry and skipped my lunch. My tummy was hurling with hunger pangs and in between conversations, I told my kids that I dint have food that afternoon and so I was feeling hungry. Next day, one of the kids brought a small box of sweets and told me that I can have the food and need not feel hungry anymore. The gesture was so heart touching that not only did it fill my heart and stomach but also left unforgettable imprints that small gestures matter in life.

If not for this job, I would not have learnt this lesson in my life. It is so true that we come across many situations and people in life. But very few of them leave imprints that remain in our memories forever. The kid was hardly 6 years old, but she left an unforgettable memory that even after a decade it is afresh in my mind and I can relive it whenever I want.

My first job as a tutor to little kids taught me lessons of life. Everyday was a new learning and every dialogue and discussion was teaching me something. I thought of teaching the kids, but in return, I learnt many things that were never taught outside. My memories of those small and tiny gestures are unforgettable. I always love my first job.

India shining?

Before you throw rotten tomatoes and eggs on me after reading this post, let me make it clear that, this is just a thought that developed in my mind while watching a movie! and incase if you have still consider throwing tomatoes and continue with your decision, I plead to throw some good ones! afteral, tomato pickle is irresistible! jokes apart.

Not so long ago, white skinned people were ruling us. Yeah THE BRITISHERS. I never saw them ruling because I wasn't born then. but I surely learnt stories from my grandparents who were part of freedom movement. My grandmother who had the legacy of interacting with britishers closely (my grandfather was part of world war II as a doctor), told me quite a few stories. But each time she described India, I got a very beautiful picture. Not even once, did she mention about beggars on the roads, corrupted officials, poverty or people suffering from illness. Somehow, either she missed out on seeing/witnessing all these facts or may be they never existed! It was just about unity to fight against britishers and a unique voice screaming for freedom. She never mentioned about people fighting for power among themselves or anyone being selfish to grab others livelihood. It was just about help to others!

Then where are these now? What happened to that India where there was no poverty, no corruption, and there were only people voicing together for freedom struggle. there was only one form of enemy and people fought with it. britishers left us and we are free now.

Its been 6 decades and there is freedom in everything and everywhere. freedom in earning money, gaining power, raise above ashes and get access to resources. But there is a clear demarcation that is quite evident in various aspects like poverty, corruption, illness and the list goes on. sometimes i get this thought that may be we need someone to bother us from outside world so that we get united and work towards a similar goal than divide ourselves into various aimless tributaries.

I dont agree with the statement"India is shining". No, it is not. But I agree that India is definitely trying to shine and will shine if the opaqueness is shunned.

Time for tomatoes ;)

Economically Green Child

While the global market is sinking and crying out loud in the name of recessions, there is one sure shot trend of economy, which will never sink! Let it be tsunami, typhoon or an earthquake! This economy never sinks and with each threshold, it shoots up. I call it Green Economy. Yeah, you heard me right. I have seen it for decades and I never saw it sinking or suffering turbulence unlike other forms of economy. Let me explain my story and how I have been part of this never sinking Green Economy aka Environmental Economy.

While girls of my age enjoyed playing board games and doll up Barbie, I enjoyed climbing trees and inspecting the gardens. Life for me, has been very exciting and I always stood out in the crowd for the way my mind works. I still remember the day when my teacher made a remark in my progress report saying “Intelligent. Smart but Talkative”. No one imagined, I will turn out to be a good speaker over the period of time giving lectures on being green and eco friendly. No wonder, I was chosen by All India Radio to sing a song- wait - not classical or a folk song. It is a song on protecting environment. Again, I had no clue why I was singing a song on how I wanted to plant trees and protect environment! As I grew up, I started having tough time with the juggling numbers in Mathematics. I never understood why Newton was not hungry enough to eat the apple and not burden me with Laws. The polymerization techniques in chemistry surely annoyed me. I was amnestic for history to study about wars and industrialisation. But there was one chapter, which had an imprint on my mind. I enjoyed reading every word in it and still remember how food chains and ecosystems work. When my idlebrain could not make it to a Medicine seat, my father was more than worried about how I would establish my career. The course in Environmental Management drew my eyes and there I go! Not an engineer or a doctor, but I intended to become an environmentalist. A Graduation, Masters, Mphil and 2 diplomas there was no looking back.

Every Individual is a born environmentalist. There is no surprise if I say earth has 6 billion environmentalists (this is a blog and not a scientific report. So, excuse me for stats). What if every one of us takes a small pledge and contribute a little to drink clean water and see clear sky and let the ice caps be themselves and not melt. We can help the Green Economy multiply day by day and increase the sustainability.

I enjoy being an environmentalist where I need not bother about the AC rooms, laptops with internet and dresses to wear to the work place. All I need to care about is to save mother earth from getting perished and let the public know the difference between Need and Greed. I am doing my part. What about you?

People say my blog is 'info-taining'. So, here I end with an ancient Sanskrit note which is dated (not radioactively) to 1000 years-

"Vriksho Rakshathi Rakshitaha"- Save the trees, you will be saved by them.

Go green buddies. Save the economy, yeah you heard me right, the Green Economy.

definition of freedom

whats the definition of freedom?

going out on your own?

working on your own?

having your own money to spend on sweet little things whenever you want?

having a good laugh with friends?

socialising with friends and families without having to take their appointments?

Having your parents by your side whenever they want you and vice versa?

The check list was full and complete when I was in India. Many people think that life is free and you have all the freedom you want in abroad. But as an independent and working woman, who is no less than a free spirit, I would say, NO, it is not. Life is not free in this country for free spirits like me.

I am not against any other country. But I would say, India has changed for good. For those who have brains, talent, knowledge and know how to live a life, India is a much-much better place to live and lead a peaceful life. But many people have concerns about international problems existing in our country. Let me try to give an appropriate answer.

Traffic- Yeah many NRIs say that India has too much traffic and they cant bear it.

Excuse me. It takes nearly 45 minutes with traffic to travel 15 miles in a 3 lane road sans craters in US. Not to forget the delays that take life time and tons of people working from home to avoid it. In India, atleast in Hyderabad, I used to travel on my bike to office and was never stuck in traffic. Yes, there is traffic but always flowing. Who cares if there are people crossing roads? Atleast they will not sue you if you stop close to them. Despite the heavy traffic and crores of population, accident rates are comparatively less in India.

Pollution- Now, how are you effected by pollution. For anyone who moves from one place to the other, it takes certain time for your body to adjust to the local weather and conditions. I bled through nose when I moved here. But Indian weather and pollution never harmed me in anyway! trust me. It is completely a factor of time and your body condition.

Sun tan- Who asks you to go out in open sun without clothes? Atleast I never saw cases on dermological cancer in India. Whether it is India or arctic- roaming around in open sun will always tan your body.

Money- If you are content with whatever you get and earn, you can live anywhere. People live in 3rd world countries and they are still alive! Few extra bucks will only make your life burdened as that satisfying component in your personality has vanished long time ago.

Corruption- How many times have you fallen a victim of corruption in India? who robbed your money for anything? If you are true by heart and aware of rules, no one will ask you for extra money. I never paid an extra penny in my life and never had trouble getting things done. Then where is the corruption factor? and above all, if you want to fight against corruption, you are always welcome to join the movement. if not, then move on in your life? why complain about it?

These are few of many reasons cited by many NRIs, who say that life in India is no more easy. I don't know how much you agree with me. But, as an independent, educated and working woman, I always loved my life in India.

I have a good husband and good family to take care of me. But there 1000 several things that curb my freedom here. Yes, I was free in India! A free spirit which is now bottled.

Disclaimer- I am not against any country. I am against those people who overlook certain beautiful things in India. God bless all.

came out of web

How I came out of an addiction called FB. It is amazing. Now, I don't even feel like checking the posts and commenting on those unnecessary posts which are posted by people suffering from attention deficit disorder. Earlier, I had the habit of checking mails and wandering on FB checking the videos, reading the shared messages, status messages. But every morning was not a pleasant one! sometimes, when I came across posts with disturbing messages including hatred on religion, racism, personal abuses, pictures with half body, amputated, blood and stuff, it was very scary and often disturbing for me. Atleast, I always believed in pleasant and healthy mornings and happy ending in the nights.

But at the back of mind, I always had those posts through out my day, and they always triggered my self conscious to react! knowing my personality, I always wondered how I kept calm most of the times. But, it surely affected my life in many ways. heated arguments, hatred messages, unwanted discussions, disturbing posts......you just cant escape from them.

once you are in the web, you are caught for good. hence, i came out and trust me, i have full life now. my options for hobbies just increased rapidly and somehow, i realised that i have 100 other things to do when compared to that stupid FB wandering. may be it works well with networking. but life doesn't stop there and I cant control. with 750+ friends (?), i could never control what they posted. and one disturbing post in anytime of the day, my whole day i screwed.

so get a life! i got it now! ;)

The small thin indian wedding

Contrary to the "big fat Indian wedding" tag, my blog, probably is the story of cheapest wedding anyone ever had in life. Even, an eloped wedding might have costed the price of travel by train, bus and minimal logistics. But, the wedding that I am going to talk about, is the cheapest possible Indian wedding. You will be stunned at the total cost and this can happen! Read further for an interesting story.

After the traditional wedding, My husband and I, went to Registrar office to register our marriage. So technically, we were getting married for the second time. Our parents joined us to be the witnesses. Now, don't ask me how much we spent in our traditional wedding. I must say, it was quite minimal, as mine and my husband's family- both are generous and understood the hiccups associated with getting married big way. So we kept it simple and 'strictly close friends and family affair'. So, following the wedding, came the procedure to register it. Usually, everybody has this picture that the registrar office will take time, money and blah blah.

We took our wedding pictures and went to the registrar office. The office assistant asked me to fill a form. We bought the form for Rs 10 and filled it. After our parents signed the form as witnesses, he asked to fix a stamp. It costed us Rs 2. We did. After 15 minutes, we received our marriage certificates!

My father was still apprehensive. He was asking me if I need to pay 'some' amount. We were reluctant and confused whom to ask if we have to pay "extra" amount. But everyone was doing ones job. It is their duty to grant us a marriage certificate. And we got it. So, whom shall we pay extra amount and for what??? I said, no need to pay anybody and we left the office with our certificates in hand.

So, the total cost of the wedding was Rs 12. Probably, the least amount paid by any married couple and it is the actual price! So, next time, when you go to any "sarkari" office, make sure you pay the right amount. No need to feed the already stuffed mouths and rotten stomachs.

Be right and do right.

a lesson to learn

While, the whole nation is going rage over corruption, I am here to contribute my own little part. Sharing this story which might inspire you!

It happened to me 2 years ago (2009). I was going to a post office (Begumpet, Hyderabad) which was pretty close to where I lived. I thought of walking instead of driving, as it would take me more time in horrendous traffic. So, walking for 5 minutes was a better option for me in many ways. Since I was going there for the first time, I had to ask someone to get the directions. All I had to do was, cross the road and take the bridge (above Begumpet MMTS station). As simple as that!

As I started walking, I could not figure out how to get off the bridge. Since the traffic was heavy, I assumed, everybody crosses through the station bridge. I entered the station and took the inside bridge to the opposite platform. As I was about to exit, the Ticket collector approached me and asked for the ticket.

I told him, I was just crossing the bridge. He said, I need to take the outside bridge, not the inside one and since, I entered the train station, I need to show him a ticket. I apologised and said, I am ready to pay for it.

He said, as I don't have a ticket, I am unauthorised to use the platform. So, he gave me a penalty of Rs 200 for wrongfully entering the train station (read it as local train station with just 2 platforms).

As I came out of the station, I was bit upset as I had to pay Rs 200 for unknowingly entering the station. But I had a satisfaction, as I stood by the law. I paid the penalty sans nepotism. Yes, both my parents have been working for Indian Railways since 30+ years and they are now in very good positions!

A mistake is a mistake and it has no exceptions.

I stand by law. I am against corruption. What about you?

Swathi Sriram

best signs of worst FB pms

if it was not for that stupid facebook, i would have been much much regular on my blog. but since i came to the US, I have been wandering on FB to be in touch with my friends and do some time pass. but offlate, I am kind of losing my privacy and realised how important my blog is. well, to start with, i guess the Fb people are having PMS now. it is acting weird and we can't do much about it.

before i talk about it, let me talk about pms. for many men, who are unaware of what it is, you are free to do some wikipedia thing or google it for more examples. now, if you know about it, then i need to give much gyan to you.

for women, who do not know about it, i would say you are lucky and stop reading this post. As reading about pms and Fb will only worsen your life. and women who are well versed with pms, again, i need not discuss and share much about it.

So, Fb is having pms now. let me list some best signs of worst FB pms

1) is clumsy and not bothered about it

2) acting weird and losing manners

3) is worried about everybody under sun and on earth (may be beyond earth)

4) is screaming loud and hampering with others' lives

5) and there is no reason behind anything

6) the chemical reactions are so vigor that it is unable to take load of reactors like me

7) is crying without a reason

now with these signs, you can not disagree with me. and it is like, you got to have lots of patience to understand what it is like and after that you will get used to it!

happy fbing.

Pros and Cons of social Networking

I just cleaned my friends list on FB and this one small thought triggered me to write a post on Pros and cons of social Networking. I know, with enlightening media, breaking news, experienced friends and other stuff, you all are aware of pros and cons. But, who cares, I decided to write about it anyways! So, here goes my anatomy.

I am not dividing the list, am just scribbling my thoughts. so, you choose which ever suits you the best!

1) We become public through social networking sites and if we were ever introverts in our school/college days, we can come out of that cocoon and be a public figure with more than a centurion friends!

2) we can write our mind. irrespective of the language code!

3) We tend to meet our old school/college/ neighbourhood/ not-at-all related friends. And we add them, and nothing happens after that! They are just lying in our list forever and we dont have anything to talk.

4) we get connected to some famous people and again nothing happens. Because, this time, we are lying in their friends list and they dont care to talk to us!

5) we can see whats happening in their lives, which has no productivity factor. Yes, we get absolutely nothing by peeping into their pics. Sometimes, we just sleep with pinch of jealous if the other person is seen enjoying.

6) We can do a 'peek a boo' thing on those profiles whom we dont talk with but still have interest on whats going on!

7) We can know about who is wedding whom/when/where knowing the fact that we are not invited and even if invited, we cant go.

8) we can put our pics of romance/ intimate things that have to shared only between the closest ones. But, anyways, we dont care, the site is giving us space, so we will upload!

9) we can support some faltu discussion started by an intellectual who has nothing to do in life except to trigger fights.

10) we get notifications of posts which we are not even interested in and we are never subscribed to!

11) we can play stupid games which help us in increasing our weight, eye sight and decrease our thinking abilities.

12) we can boast about our life and criticise/scold/ accuse others' if we dont like. In a way, we can use our fundamental right without any hesitation.

13) Random people add us and we feel elated that we are now important to those who know nothing about us.

14) some people think, its a shame if someone is not on any social networking sites and he is illiterate in the world of social networking!

15) there is no room for privacy and we dont care! afteral, everybody is talking about us!

16) sometimes we like/comment/ tweet/ scrap out of compulsion.

17) you meet a person in real life, you meet him/her everyday and also get connected through these sites so that you assure yourself that YOU ARE CONNECTED every moment.

18) we delete some people and we think we deleted them forever! As we lose the differentiating capacity of real and virtual life.

19) we don't realise that those who love us need no social networking sites to know us!

20) we drag and drop people into different circles thinking that we did something that we couldnot do in real life! placing them in different zones!

you can add some more if something comes up in your mind!