Monday, March 15, 2010

tear drops in the corners of my eyes


tear drops in the corners of my eyes..
whether to shed down or dry inside
in dilemma of my personality
a very sensitive woman in me and the strength that challenges male ego


tear drops in the corners of my eyes...
the sensitive woman in me wants them out
emotions pushing them from my body
trying to vent the pain and sadness- blow out
a search for a shoulder to cry on
a warm hug to dry my wet eyes
a soft touch to stop the trembling of my hands...
i have no one....and want the tears to let out...
the drops still hanging in the corners of my eyes...

tear drops in the corners of my eyes
the strength in me is shouting loud
no...you have to deal it..
my boldness and vigor holding the tears back
asking me to fight the situation...
my shoulders are my support system
my dry heart is enough to evaporate my tears
i held my trembling hands and said loudly..
yes i shall fight it out...i shall not waste tears on someone..
i am bold and i am strong
tears in the corners are finally sucked inside

tear drops in the corners of my eyes
yes..i have not wasted them....
i fought on my own and stood out...

Saturday, March 13, 2010

some sitcoms

alright...after a break....am back into my social life...finally...after getting blindfolded for few days, am trying to flash some light into my life....guess what...its really good to have a dark life for sometime lol....
all these days, i wasnt much onto gtalk, yahoo messenger and ofcourse my favourite passion blogging. am writing here some sitcoms and hope you would enjoy them...these are personal experiences of my friends.....

she met him in airport and it was an instant spark between both of them. healthy flirting went on for sometime...a bit of shopping in the airport, a lil gupshup and after some bla bla bla...they decided to meet after they get down (they have no idea about their seat numbers). fate made them sit next to each other and the rest of the journey was just awesome...and as usual, the man was bold enough to say a bye after they got down and she was still in a hope to meet him.....
after a couple of months
her-hey how r u
him-hey am good...how did you get my phone number (i never gave you mine)
her- well you know...hehe...i got it...where there is a will..there is phone number...
him- awww..so tell me how r u?
her- am good...but whats that loud sound next to you..
him- oh yeahh...some plumbing work is going on....am getting my washroom repaired..
her- really? (i dnt care..but still) why??
him- well you know...i want my wife to be comfortable after she comes into my house
her- ur wife? r u married????????
him- no i will...
her- engaged?
him- no....we r searching for a girl stilllll
her- (grrrrrrrrrrr...i hate you) aww...chalo then take care byeeeeeee
him- ok..ok...take care bye
her- slammed the phone...
i still wonder is it a problem with guys or the girls...i am confused a bit


so this is another hilarious one

she called up a doctor to know if he can treat her friend at free of cost. apparently, he agreed and he treated the patient without charging anything...and my friend was showering thanks on him. strangely, the doctor and my friend never met and the phone call was the only medium of communication. the doctor's degrees, voice, generosity...everything impressed my friend so much...she was very much gaga over him and thought of meeting him over coffee...after a couple of days, my friend's friend (the patient) informed my friend that the doctor asked him and my friend to attend a party without fail...my friend was on cloud eighteen, as he invited for a coffee and....out of excitement she called up the doctor and the conversations went on...
her- hey..its me...thanks for the invite..
him- yeahh you should come...without fail..
her- sure sure..am so glad you invited me...where is it?
him- you know...so and so coffee house....will you come?
her- ofcourse ofcourse....but whats the occasion (dnt tell me you are giving a personal party for me..hehe)
him- oh....its babyshower...my wife is preggies...
her-(you have a wifeeeeeeeeeeee and she is preggiesssss) aww okk.sure..bye for now!
life is truly is surprising...but such incidents are refreshing!

enjoy






Wednesday, February 10, 2010

and he became part of my life...........



him: hello...kanna babu?
me: who is this?
him: is it kannababu????
me: no wrong number
and i hung up...

her: kannnaaaaaaa
me: who?
her: is it kannnaaaaa?
me: no

him: anna...
me: anna? whom do u want?
him: is it kanna annna?
me: grrr..wrong number

him: kanna sir?
me: wrong number
her: babu...kanna.babu
me: ughhh

and then on new year's day and for every festival i received text messages which were meant for him. slowly...calls and messages for kanna babu became part of my daily life....whenever i receive a call it would be for either me or kanna babu. i dont know who he is...i have no idea where he stays...thanks to vodaphone people...they made a stranger part of my life..earlier i was pissed with calls meant for him...now i reply softly that his number is changed...i realised that he is been prettty important in his circle and could be a favourite one too!

but today..early in the morning i received a message which says "my deep condolence to you and your family. may god keep her soul rest in peace"..this is for kanna babu again..
someone from kanna babu's family is no more! i felt bad for kanna babu... hope he cheers up from the loss and spring back to normal.
kanna babu- i still have no idea who he is! but my heart felt bad for his loss!


Thursday, January 28, 2010

crappy movies



am getting bored... i realised there is no point in spending 100s of bucks on these pathetic movies. i better buy some clothes and wear them for a year or eat proper food or give the money in charity than torturing myself with those dirty slapstick humurous movies which lack any sense. i seriously want to watch movies which dont have
1) hero who meets a heroine and falls in love
2) two men behind an unambitious woman and vice versa
3) a hero jumps into the air against gravity and beats 20-30 villains without shedding a drop of blood yet no case is registered on him
4) a combined family with all the women wearing jewelery 24x7 and pampering the uneducated girl in their family who dreams of nothing but having sex in a mountain area
5) a rich girl falling in for a street rowdy
6) man loving an engaged woman and the groom sacrificing the bride in the mandap
7) the girl wearing a bikini and dancing in the beach while the hero is clad in a suit and have shoes while in water
8) 45 years old hero who celebrates his 46th birthday yet goes to the college in the movie
9) woman keeps roaming in the road showing her cleavage and men drooling at her
10 ) where hero wins and villain dies at the end

crap....please i need a change.....boohoo....the only means of entertainment is now no more entertaining!
this blog is the result of spending 400 bukcs on a sucking movie



Friday, January 22, 2010

being single!

awww...i agree with this so much...cant stop myself from reading it again and again!

The Big List Of The Benefits Of being single

1. Everything in your house is yours.

2. You don't have to hide gifts, receipts, and other purchase records in ridiculous places.

3. If you buy something "yummy", you don't have to buy twice as much.

4. The only person you have to dress up for is your boss.

5. Your late nights are all yours.

6. Less stuff to move when you do move

7. One bedroom apartments feel more spacious with only one person

8. You never have to ask for permission to orgasm.

9. Only the doctor can tell you what to eat

10. You decide what to shave and when

11. Valentines day costs less

12. No anniversaries to remember

13. No extra birthdays to remember

14. No extra family to shop for during the holidays

15. No irritating in-laws to deal with

16. You can walk around naked whenever you want.

17. Only your sense of decency has any say about where you leave your dirty clothes.

18. You don't have to share

19. You don't have to change your life because someone else has jealousy issues.

20. The only insecurities you have to deal with are your own.

21. Getting that out-of-state job doesn't hinge on what someone else wants or thinks.

22. The only people complaining about music volume are the neighbors.

23. You can fall asleep anywhere without getting any guff for it in the morning.

24. You don't have to use the "headache" excuse anymore.

25. You don't have to worry as much about the "oops, I'm pregnant" factor.

26. The only person who goes through your stuff is you.

27. The only person who sees your inbox is you.

28. More time to spend with friends.

29. You don't have to live with someone who can't stand your parents.

30. If you want to go for pizza at 3am, no one stops you or asks you why.

31. You can date more freely.

32. The cute secretary is fair game.

33. The whole wedding mess? Yeah, none of that to deal with.

34. You don't have to share your closet with anyone else.

35. You always get to watch what you want.

36. You always get to read what you want.

37. You decide when to crawl into bed.

38. You can throw yourself into bed and snore without dire consequences.

39. No one else's annoying (or disgusting) habits to deal with at home.

40. The only fetishes you have to deal with are your own.

41. You can talk to yourself without people saying "what?" or worrying about your sanity.

42. There are religious benefits, if you're into that kind of thing.

43. Single people can still adopt, if you're into that kind of thing.

44. The only annoying friends you have to deal with are your own.

45. You don't ever have to wonder if you really love the person you live with.

46. There's only one way to do things- your way.

47. You are the master of the thermostat.

48. The only messes you have to clean up are your own.

49. The only disasters you have to fix are your own.

50. If an argument starts, you can walk away... forever.

51. You don't have to make excuses for yourself.

52. The whole "old maid" thing is so last century.

53. Dinner can be as simple as a frozen burrito.

54. When you eat, you buy and cook for one.

55. No one else is going to eat your leftovers.

56. No one else is going to raid your stash of sweets (you don't even have to hide it!)

57. You don't have to share your bed with anyone.

58. You can even eat in bed if you want to.

59. You can decorate the entire house according to your taste.

60. The only person spending your money is you.

61. Three words: Marriage Tax Penalty.

62. The only debts you have to pay off are your own.

63. Kids with single parents can get more financial aid.

64. Bickering couples are at best a relieving reminder and at worst hilarious.

65. Less pressure about body weight.

66. Married people are fatter on average anyway.

67. Suddenly, it's okay to look (and flirt).

68. It's easier to focus on your career and your dreams.

69. You're the only person who gets to decide if you "need to make more money."

70. The only mood swings you have to deal with are your own.

71. There are a lot of lonely and violently psychopathic people out there.

72. You don't have to change your religious beliefs one bit.

73. There are 6.5 Billion other fish in the sea. That's 6,500 x 1 million. Yeah.

74. Porn is cheaper, easier, and comes in more varieties.

75. The toilet seat only moves when you move it.

76. Cohabitation is legal, fun, and less of a hassle than marriage.

77. You don't have to deal with someone else's kids all the time.

78. Divorce is pricey.

79. You don't have to deal with "compliment fishing."

80. Fewer minutes spent with a phone attached to your ear.

81. No endless nagging.

82. You never have to answer the phone "right now!"

83. You can drink what you want, where you want, and as much as you want.

84. No doubts or worries about someone sleeping around.

85. Things stay where you put them.

86. You can meditate and have your quiet time when you need it.

87. The only thing whining about not being fed is your cat.

88. You can take out the trash when you feel like it.

89. You can shower or bathe when you want, as often as you want, for as long as you want.

90. You can even leave the door open when you shower.

91. The longer you wait, the better you know yourself, instead of someone else.

92. Children learn how to treat themselves by watching how you treat yourself.

93. A bad relationship is like a lingering knife wound- it continues to ruin your whole day.

94. You can be as eccentric as you want.

95. Your car can be as dirty or unusual or artistic as you want.

96. You decide how long it takes to get ready.

97. Say goodbye to heartache, dumping, and being dumped.

98. You get your weekends for you and your projects.

99. You can be the wild friend with all the really juicy stories.

100. You can still get laid. Maybe even more often. Certainly with more variety.

101. Being single and staying single isn't selfish. It should be seen as putting your happiness first (Where it should be.)

courtesy (http://hubpages.com/hub/101-reasons-to-stay-single)

Monday, November 30, 2009

a wedding of emotions


"my daughter is coming to your house, please take...." aunty's teary voice was interrupted by trayee's (my best friend forever, my soulmate)
buaji- 'dont say my daughter...say your daughter in law...". aunty looked up with moist eyes and put down the phone....trayee's status changed overnight from being a daughter to a daughter-in-law and it seems now she has to be called as your daughter-in-law than my daughter even by her own parents. i believe its not the case of just trayee. its with every woman on this earth!

i overheard the conversations and basant, trayee's ever lasting love and now husband, repeated the same lines and said that aunty has been crying and its becoming difficult to console her. while i am considered to be too good at consoling and counselling people at difficulties, i thought it is not appropriate to console a mother while her daughter is leaving for her in law's place. i went inside..and aunty saw me and held out her hands and said, "moonu (trayee's nickname) yeh karo...moonu woh karo...moonu bhaat khecho? moonu sojao...moonu moonu moonu...moine kabhi bhi moonu ko chorke nahi raha..ab dorr logta hai..moonu waha kaise reh payegi..bachchi hai". my eyes were moist, there was a lump in my throat and i realised - i was moved.

i attended many weddings. my cousins, my friends, relatives...many of them got married. but trayee's wedding is something different. it taught me how an institution called marriage is formed and how relationships change overnight! how a mother feels when her daughter leaves! how a father manages the whole wedding gala without a trace of tear! how relatives, though we dont see them for ages, turn out during our wedding and support us. how our in-laws, whether they like the wedding or not, try to maintain a compose and let the marriage materialise.


while parents are happy and elated that their kids are getting married, the change in the marital status equally bothers them.
happiness of getting married
excitement about the new status
frustration with the over work
irritation with the last minute errands
sadness of leaving our loved ones
anger of some unwanted happenings
a wedding has all the colours and emotions attached to it! a wedding of emotions should be seen not just as an occasion to flaunt jewellery, saris, cuisines and money. i see it as solemnising different relationships and networking of love and affection.
a wedding of emotions it is :)


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

unanswered questions

there are zillions of questions in my mind! there are millions of doubts which need to be clarified...they bother me..the thoughts smother me!
and am left with unanswered and unsolved theories ......

1) society? what is it? do we live for it or do we form it? are we just part of it?
when a woman is beaten by her husband...society doesnt bother....it may just create a hype for few hours or days and the story is back to normal...
when a man is struggling for job and having problems running in his family...society never helps him! he has to struggle and fight for his own existence and at the end...he is the winner or loser and the surroundings do play no role!

2) when i say that i want to adopt a baby and find another reason for my life...am asked not to...as i cant be accepted! my question is accepted by whom? people around me? those who never bother when i need a shoulder? those who have no clue about how i am living or struggled for my life? relatives, who don't even know my age and what i need in life? who are just interested in whom i have an affair with or how much property am i actually saving?

3) why cant we choose and live with a partner (if at all essential) on our own and go for it? why do we need to go for tailor made- horoscope matched persons and live with obligation! why cant marriage come after we live-know-understand each other and see how it is like rather than breaking a marriage? why are we always stopped from doing so saying that "you are not in US and it doesnt go well here" kind of statements?

4) why dont we have the choice to say yes to what we like and no to what we dont! why do we need to throw a fake smile and get upset in life?

5) why cant we create our own paths in whatever we like than actually settling for those dusted paths created by unknown travellers?

6) why dont people understand that there are still good people existing in this world and all are not buggers who just mess around with anyone they come across...

7) why cant we have individual choices and live with humanity than getting involved in others life for no use?

these are just some of many.....


Monday, October 19, 2009

love ke baare mein!



when every tom, dick, harry, rita, meeta and ....can speak about love...why cant I? so I am giving it a try...whats love?


1) for me there is nothing called true love or false love..there is only love...

2) i love many people in this world...but i am not in love with any

3) i love many things too...you see..sort of non-living love

4) i believe once i am in love.....i will never leave him till my death..but to fall in love is a big thing for me..

5) one would be faking if he/she says "pyar sirf ek hi baar hota hai.." naa....we love and also fall in love with more than 2-3 people in life time...its just that we dont tend to express or be with them for life time...

6) its not necessary that we love the one we get married to...every married couple is not a pair of soulmates...

7) its not necessary that we give our love an ultimate destination called marriage....we can still be in love and not get married...bonding keeps us close irrespective of the distance we live...

8) once the love is mutual...no matter what..it never dies...its eternal...but birth of such love is rare..

9) love at first sight does happen....but its legitimacy is a question!

10) sometimes we fall in love in first instance...sometimes we never fall in love -even if we are together and live close for decades

11) for those who are in love...they can understand the difference between lovemaking and having sex...

12) there is never a breakup in love...we just tend to get apart..yet we are deeply connected to each other and the bonding lives forever..

13) love happens to anyone irrespective of age, sex (yes it happens for some people..and we have to respect them!), financial status, caste, creed, complexion and all....

14) love means no business...its a spiritual and eternal connection which comes without pros and cons...

15) love never happens to those who are highly infatuated, as they feel its love each time they come across a man/woman

16) when we love ourself...we can/and are authorised to love others

17) love means no hatred and there are no killings/attacks/abuses....you dont tend to hurt your lover in any-which way!

18) there is no room for dislike and non-compromise in love...it happens when you want to do business..not love..

19) you can have multiple partners..yet love only one person....(this applies to some....no debate over this issue..any sensible person can understand what i mean)

20) love cant be explained..it can only be experienced...

i think i gave enough gyaan on love....i mean every word...and this is what i think...




Saturday, October 17, 2009

unimportant emotions



well i see people sending friend requests on various networking sites..
some add just for the sake of it...some add to know others...some add as they know each other...some add for other reasons....whatever the reason be....our friends' list keeps growing day by day....they are hardly our friends yet we are compelled to call them our friends...

how about removing them from the list? many people, very conveniently remove them...
some remove as they are pestered or spied on....some remove as they find some differences...some remove as they feel its not important...
why even add when you dont want them?
even i removed and added many people like that....but sometimes i wonder why i re-add or or remove them? i dont feel really comfortable when i dont see myself in others friends' list....

now comes the list in messengers....we have tons of them in our lists...we seldom talk/chat with them....yet we maintain a list for the sake of it...why even keep them when you have no time to atleast say 'hi' once in a year on your own? its not a wardrobe! why decorative pieces when you give no importance? i wish not to have such people in my list who never care to say hi....who cares ya...leave em for good!

now comes response to email....we keep fwding mails and messages....acknowledging them is ones own decision....the recipient has the liberty to acknowledge it or not.....but when you dont want to do it for life time...then why even receive mails? why not just block them rather than making the mailer- a fool?

now comes calls.....some people never build a habit of calling back....if you never call thats different....but if you are not responding to a call.....then why not pick once and just inform them that you dont want anymore calls?

i am not writing this mail out of frustration or whatever....but i am trying to scream that there is some basic etiquette which we have to follow...else i see no difference between us and other species....some emotions are still left in this world and its better if we understand them....time and work kill us for good...priorities keep changing....but not our instinct.....its better to be straight enough than be a hypocrite and fake oneself.....


Friday, October 02, 2009

some updates

haven't updated my blog since a long time....so on my readers' request, i am posting some updates here

1) was down with viral fever, flu, cramps, and what not! enjoyed everything but swine flu. enjoyed the pamper by mom, sis and best friends who kept track of me 24x7. relished tons of coconut water and yeah shed some weight...the antibiotics were yuk and they made me sick...

2) our neighbour Mrs Rao lost her eye. Poor lady, she has this habit of spying on us each time our door bell rings....so, once while she was on job with an eye in the 'magic eye' of the door...her door bell rang..and in a hurry she pulled her face out and one of her eyes got stuck in it...poor woman...heard she is managing with only one eye now! the other eye is anyways on job....

3) went to kaminey and left the theater in the middle. thanks to the crappy wontons that i had before going to the movie...and the loud music and nonsensical drama....i had bad headache and puked on the pretty lady next to me in the theater (there was pinch of J also) ...and i came running out of the theater...

4) didnot shop at all....am running out of money and now my dad is keeping a track of each and every penny...he also has the list of dresses that i have now! gaawwwddd...i just asked him for another cupboard and he took away my atm card

5) learnt making chapathis...now i can make them without roasting/burning....they can be relished with any curry ordered from outside...am yet to learn how to make curries...and i dont think i can (want to) actually learn

6) am speeding up the process to find the man of my dreams...so sleeping a lot nowadays...

7) now am reading 3 books at a time....yeahh have been reading them since 4 months....

8) have stopped being online...as i feel...i have bugged everyone enough...time to rejuvenate my gtalk/yahoo messenger list

i think....i am done...more in my next post...