Back up and Life.

This is another ordeal which changed my life forever. 

Feb 2022- I developed severe disc herniation and was put on Steroids for a week and strong pain killers to help with the never-ending pain.  I continued taking pain killers to be able to function. I couldn't drive or do physical activities and had to convert my teaching classes to remote. 

April 2022- My pain from disc herniation was intense and it was beyond any pain killers. I lost sensation in my left leg and rushed to the emergency room. After an MRI, I was informed that, my disc at L5-S1 has a large (golf ball size) herniation and it needs to be surgically removed! After 2 days in the hospital. the doctor performed the surgery. 

Post surgery- I woke from the anesthesia. The doctor came to me and told me that, they removed the bulge, but "I had Cerebro spinal fluid leak during the procedure. They put glue on the leak, and it should heal in 3-5 days", which meant that, I cannot sit for the next 3-5 days. 

I was completely flat on the bed and was tilted to only 15 degrees while eating and brushing. It was a nightmare for me to lie flat and not being able to move to any side. After 4 days, I was allowed to sit slowly at a 45-degree angle on my bed. The moment they put my bed high, I had a terrible headache. It was intense and I never felt anything like that before. The doctors assured me that it should go away, and I would be fine! 

After 7 days, I was finally able to sit and stand with the help of a walker. But each time, I sat, I would have intense/ explosive headaches and severe stiffness in the neck. I was informed that I could go home, and I should be fine! I was discharged and was asked to come for a follow up a week after. 

My visit to home was nothing short of a nightmare. I could not sit at all, and I had intense headaches. Each time I sat, I could feel my brain sagging down and coming till my ears. I could not move or even stand as I had severe stiffness in my neck and spine. We called the doctor multiple times and each time we were informed that it will go away. After 3 days, I started leaking through my sutures in the back. Each time, I sat, a fluid passed through my sutures in the back and came out. It started increasing and

reached a point where the wetness on my back was visible to anyone. 

Day 14, we informed the doctor, and they asked me to come back for another MRI. I immediately rushed to the hospital. This time, I knew something was terribly wrong! 

The MRI revealed that there was a big hole in my cerebrospinal fluid lamina and the doctors decided to take me in for a surgery immediately. 

Day 15- I was taken in for dural repair surgery. A Plastic surgeon and 2 spinal surgeons worked on my back and patched the hole (which was the size of a quarter). They put an external drain from my back that would allow all the Cerebro spinal fluid to come out and keep the patch dry. I was shifted to ICU as the drain requires special caring. 

                                             

Day 16- I started developing severe headaches and electric shocks in my back with mild fever. I was not allowed to even lift my head. It was traumatic for me, and I was slowly losing all my hopes by this point. I started developing fevers and headaches and I was informed that I have low grade meningitis. This could be due to the drain because anything connected to our internal organs can carry infections. 

The trauma for the next 4 days was unimaginable. The pain and suffering were intense, and I couldn't take it beyond a point. I was given plethora of pain killers which never worked. 

During this time- the head doctor from the spinal surgeons group visited my room and his first sentence was, "Are you the one doing the drama?". I was beyond petrified by his words. The head doctor was rude and blamed me that I was doing the drama. I never understood how I can cause all these--- while suffering from immense pain and trauma and fighting to be alive! Not to forget, it had been almost 3 weeks by now since I spent any time with my kids! The conversations did not go well and the head nurse during that time helped me ease my pain by settling the dust. it is during times like these, we lose hopes on good doctors. 

I spent nearly 2 weeks in hospital and was discharged with a PICC line again to continue taking IV antibiotics at home. It was a very slow recovery process. I came back home to my kids and family. It took me a really long time to be able to walk without support and I still suffer and take pain killers. 

Brownie points- Since I was bedridden and had absolutely nothing to do physically- I decided to work my thesis. I would lay on my back, bend my knees and put my laptop on my stomach, and I typed my entire PhD thesis!!!!! Yes, I completed my thesis and defended PhD in October of 2022!  

Just a small blessing in disguise. 

PS: I still suffer from the immense back pain and severe headaches and occasional neck stiffness. I cannot do many physical activities and I have to plan everything including my daily chores. I am yet to travel long distances and spend one whole day outside without having to take pain killers. I developed severe insomnia because I get dreadful nightmares of being in hospital and being scolded by the doctors for no fault of my own! I wake up gasping for air and search for my kids next to me. I am counting each day and learning to live through the pain.