Getting remarried

Renu Desai is engaged. 

For those who don’t know who she is, the news sounds like a regular statement of some woman getting married. 

For those who are close to her (her immediate family, friends, well wishers), she is looking at a new start, rather a restart with a happily ever after story. 

For people like me, a very happy news and a welcome change for someone of her standards who has seen it all. I am one of those women who fall into her category, aka bold, beautiful, smart, positive towards life, socially aware and yet mind our own business. 

For Pawan Kalyan fans- wait we have to divide them here. For many it’s a happy news that she’s considering a new start. But for some, she’s committing an unforgivable crime that has no victims and no repercussions. 

You see, I have a problem with this small section of people who are like that one drop of extremely dangerous poison that can kill the hope of entire society. 

Now, for those who don’t know who Renu Desai is, she’s a beautiful actress, talented director, a daring mom and just a regular woman who has a heart of a child. She’s also known as ex wife of Tollywood actor Pawan Kalyan. That’s where the entire issue haunts her. 

I follow her on Instagram and no, I don’t kfnow her in person and neither does she know I exist. But what bothers me is, for couple of days she’s posting status updates of people who are trolling/abusing/dissing her for getting engaged. Wait, isn’t her ex already married with 2 kids from the third wife? You see, Renu (I am taking the liberty to call her Renu) is still expected by these morons to stay single and never to be married. What is the valid reason?  In fact there’s none. It is what the society wants,  especially the moronic fans. 

The problem here is not her ex husband, neither is her fiancé. I am sure PK will be very happy and we need not be surprised even if he comes along to wish Renu and her fiance. You see, the problem is his certain section of fans who can’t tolerate the idea of a woman with kids getting remarried. These fans would have never spoken to their idol, but assume, expect and dictate the life of a woman who is remotely not related to them. This mentality largely exists towards many single women with kids. Our society just can’t accept that women, also need some TLC just like others and single moms are no exception. We need to change the way we look at others. We need to change the way we assume others to be. We need to change the way we want others to be. 

For last couple of days, Renu is fighting with the trolls. But it’s her profile and she has every right to allow who visits it. I feel she’s too nice to be true and to kind to exist. All she’s doing in her life  is, getting married. 

Let us all wish her a happy life ahead. Oh by the way, what she does with her life is purely her choice. 

God bless you Renu. 

Postpartum blues

I didn’t know what to except when I was being wheeled into the theater for my C Section. 10 minutes into the room, the doctor announced that Baby was out. I was blank as I listened to her crying and had no idea how to pacify a crying baby. The next 4 days at the hospital went by in a glimpse. Visitors, nurses taking care of me, medicines to keep me painfree and the attention that I received from everyone- every second. After I reached home, reality dawned upon me. My struggles with the realization started from then. My body was caved and no wonder it’s called Rebirth of woman. I was as new as my newborn just that I could express my pain and while she couldn’t.

I didn’t know what to do when she cried. Was she crying for milk? For diaper? For burp? For sleep? For boredom? Or is there something else that I am unable to find out? Every moment was stressful for me.

On top, I had to breastfeed her and pump at the same time. I hardly produced any milk (read Here), and my breasts were hurting. It was as if someone chopped them with an axe and I was each time trying to put them together to work. It was very very painful. I would sit and cry while breastfeeding and cry more while pumping. I couldn’t bear the pain.

I was sleepless and any body that goes through the process of delivering needs rest. But new moms will never get rest. I was sleep deprived and it added fuel to my already struggling body. At times, I would tell my husband that I don’t need any of this and I wished we didn’t have to go through the process of delivering. Then in few seconds, I would take the baby and apologize for saying anything like this. I never understood what was going on with me until I told my friend and she said I might be having postpartum blues. She asked me to meet with support groups and see if I can feel relieved.

My husband supported a great deal by standing behind me. He told me to just take rest and sleep and he would take care of the baby. He assured me that I am equally important and so is my health and I shouldn’t be worrying so much. He told me that he is with me in this in each step. Those words meant a lot to me. I searched for tips on how to overcome postpartum blues and followed everything.

I stayed happy. I reminded myself that this is a bliss and the pain is temporary.

I promised my husband that I will take help and won’t hesitate to seek medical advice  if I feel depressed.

I constantly reminded myself that babies have no rule book and as long as we provide them the care they need, they will grow fine. We worry unnecessarily!

I came out of postpartum blues in couple of weeks. But ladies, postpartum blues and postpartum depression is real. If you feel you are going through it, then don’t hesitate to discuss with a family member and Dont hesitate to take help from your doctor. You are not alone and you are not the only one. Don’t feel bad or guilty. It’s not happening because you did something. You have given birth and your body went through surge of emotions. So, it’s ok to cry and when you think or your family member thinks you need help, TAKE IT. Seek medical advice if necessary. If you have given birth and went through that pain, then you can definitely fight the blues out 👍🏻

Wish you a happy motherhood. Hugs and love.

Traveling with an infant

India travel! 
                                                               
Just like any other new mom, I wanted to travel to India. But my daughter was only 7 months old and I had my own concerns about traveling alone. As usual, hubby couldn’t take off for more than 3 weeks. So, either I go with him for just 3 weeks or take risk of traveling alone and stay for a longer period. I obviously opted for the latter. 

But surprisingly, my travel was smooth and I was home in less than 24 hours relaxing with my parents. Here are somethings that I did that made my travel very smooth. 

Planned packing.

Now that I have an infant with me, my priority was my daughter.   So, I focused on her stuff than mine. 

1) I packed a full formula pack and kept nearly 10 bottles handy so that I don’t have to wash them. 

2) diapers for 5 days. Yes, I packed diapers for 5 days and asked my mom to purchase a new pack in India. It saved my luggage space. We used huggies. It was easy for me to get the brand. However the sizes vary from usa to India. So I got two sizes of each and tried them. Yes, in India you can buy a single diaper!

3) Extra clothes for the baby. When we left NJ it was very very cold. But I knew it would be warm in Delhi (layover) and hot in Vijayawada (destination). So, I kept different types of clothes for her to make her feel comfortable. I changed  them according to the temperature and LO was happy 😃. 

4) Breast pump- I had to pump. So, I kept my breastpump in my carry on and pumped twice in flight in the restroom and threw away the milk. I sanitized everything and kept them  in a separate plastic bag for further cleaning. I had no choice but to pump. So, i was a bit relieved in the flight. 

5) swaddle clothes are very handy during flight journey. I used them as bedsheets in bassinet, blankets and to clean her body occasionally. 

6) gerber baby food. I bought different flavors of gerber baby food and my LO thoroughly enjoyed them. I kept couple of bananas too. 

7) medicines. I kept Tylenol, eucalyptus oil, mylicon, nasal spray handy. 

8) her favorite toys are a must. 

9) lots of sanitizing wipes

Meet your co passengers

I introduced myself to my co passengers and they were very helpful during my flight. I never gave my baby to them. But they helped me with my luggage, during boarding and deplaning and also gave me company during the flight. However I did ask them to keep an eye on my LO when she was asleep in her bassinet during my brief restroom visits only During the flight. 

Planned dressing

I carried my baby carrier and wore a cardigan with pockets. It helped me in keeping stuff handy such as milk bottles, passports, spoons, toys ets when in need. Pockets! Yes, they’re very very helpful. 

Less luggage as carryon

I ket bare minimum but essential luggage that I can lift. It was convenient for me. I had my diaper bag, my carry on suitcase and baby carrier with me. 

Sleep when baby sleeps

Babies are very fussy during flight journeys. So, it’s better to sleep when they’re sleeping. Power naps definitely help us to recharge ourselves. 

Quick meals

Now this needs some real talent. I kept my LO in bassinet and played with her while having my food at the same time. I had to gulp everything but still I managed to eat all meals and not skip as I need energy too. 

What not to do?

1) I carried an umbrella stroller with me hoping to use to in India. But there’s so much dust, pollution and heat that I never even opened it (at least in the place I stayed). And most of the times we used Uber from door to door. If I had to walk, i used my baby carrier as it will at least keep her 5 ft away from dust. 

2) Don’t give any new medicine two days before the travel. Consult pediatrician before giving anything. 

3) Don’t  warm up the babies with layers. 

4) Don’t expect them to sleep. You will only be day dreaming. 

5) Don’t Keep too many clothes as you will end up buying them anyways!

These are few of my suggestions and I wish you all a very happy travel. Bon Voyage!

The unwanted guest called - Gestational Diabetes

I Gulped the sweetest water ever , had my bowl of cereal and toast and drove to the doctor’s office for my 1 hour glucose test. I was very very confident that I wouldn’t have any gestational diabetes as I never ate even a grain of rice in last 10 months, never ate sweets, chocolates, ice creams.. literally nothing because I was never fond of them. However, the next day, my Obgyn called and told me that I am very much diabetic and need not come for my 3 hour test but need to see Maternal fetal specialist as soon as possible. The next few days were stressful in making appointments with MFM, buying a test kit and wondering if I can eat anything or not and eternal search on understanding what gestational diabetes is and why I have it?

I am a very healthy eater. I never eat junk/rice/sweets, never drink sodas, sweet drinks. But how on earth can I have GD? After I met with the dietician as per my obgyn’s order, I came back home crying in the car as I was very stressed out from what I heard in the sessions. I have to check every bit of calories/sugars/proteins/carbs that I eat. I didn’t know what they all were. I have to test everyday multiple times and send in the reports. 

My journey with GD started from that day. Poking my fingers 4-5 times a day. Checking every piece of food that I eat. Wondering what went wrong when my sugar levels fluctuated. It was very exhausting initially for a month. To top it all, I was both hypoglycemic and hyperglycemic. So, anything that I ate either shot my sugars to nearly 200 or dropped below 45. It was very very stressful every single day with every single meal. I was put on pills as my sugar levels were not in the range. 

Then I realized, that GD is something that didn’t happen to me because I did something or will not go away even if I do something. It can happen to anyone irrespective of family history. None in my family ever had/have diabetes. 

I am not over weight. Instead I lost lots of weight due to healthy diet before pregnancy. 

I am a very good and responsible eater. 

But still GD happened! 

So, I was put on pills to regulate my sugar levels and I maintained a very well balanced diet for the rest of my pregnancy. It took me many trial and error methods to figure out what I can eat and what not. How much I can eat and when. Being an Indian, it is tough to figure out the calorie/carb levels in my food. For instance, if I ate 3 idlies, my sugar levels went upto 150+. But if I made a pancake out of idly batter, they were within the range. I gave in for cravings once in a while and sacrificed other food to maintain the sugar levels. The ordeal was real. 

Downside of GD is, I was nervous all throughout to take any bite and wondered what will happen to my baby. 

Upside of GD is, I ate a very controlled diet and didn’t gain any weight. However, the weight of the baby was fine towards the end of the pregnancy. 

But strangely, my GD went away the moment I delivered. I was told it’s all the placenta that does the trick. 

So, ladies, if you have GD, Dont get stressed. You haven’t done anything for it to happen to you and you can’t do anything for it to go away. Just maintain a healthy diet and follow your obgyn/dietician plan. After you deliver, you will forget everything that you went through. 

Hugs and love. 

The myth on producing breast milk

Now that my baby is 8 months old and I am officially eligible to have some wine without having to wait for any intervals, I have decided to break the myth on producing breast milk. 

I am a 100% supporter of giving babies breast milk. Having said that, I do not vouch for completely relying on breast feeding. To start with, I had C section as our daughter was breech. After delivery, I couldn’t produce any milk until day 3. So, we had to give our daughter formula. It was obvious that we couldn’t starve her to give her exclusive breast milk. 

After the lactation consultant came in and checked me, she said I had to use nipple shields. And she asked me to pump every 3rd hour to produce more milk. And I did it. 

But I was as dry as a well in a desert. For the first week, I could pump only 5 ml per session and it wasn’t enough for the baby. When I tried to breast feed, she would wake up crying for milk within half an hour. So, we figured, we had to rely on formula milk. I was pro formula too. There’s no harm in feeding babies formula milk when necessary. 

What mothers want to feed their babies is their choice. No mother wants to harm her child. And it’s her call completely. 

Whoever visited our house had to throw their two cents on how I should be feeding my daughter breast milk. I was already depressed about me being dry and this was nothing but adding fuel to my dryness! However, I took it positively and tried everything to increase my supply. 

There was a point where I used to gulp methi seeds. Take 6 pills per day to increase supply. Pump every 3-4 hours. Breastfeed every 2nd hour. Drink 5 glasses of milk. Eat very healthy food. 

Result- still had to give her formula milk because my supply was less. I used to cry my heart out and never understood why I couldn’t produce milk. I should thank my husband in this who supported me throughout. I realized that Certain bodies are different and no matter what we do, we cannot increase the supply. 

Sometimes I felt guilty and sometimes I brushed it off. It was a mix of emotions for me. But then, as a mother, I did my best to feed my daughter the healthiest of the food. 

Now, she’s 8 months old and my supply is completely stopped. Whenever people see me feeding her from bottle, they ask me why I am not breastfeeding her. When I tell them, I can’t, they tell me how women produce milk for 2 years and how I should eat healthy and continue breastfeeding her. All I do is just smile and tell them I am different. I don’t feel bad or blame them. I just feel they’re trying to help me. But there’s nothing I can do about it. 

So, my post is for those who are unable to produce milk- don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel sad. You are a mother and you will definitely give your kid the best life. 

It is good to give your kid at least some amount of breast milk as long as possible. But there’s no harm in feeding formula. And if your kid is not latching or if you have any doubts that you are producing less milk or your kid is not having enough milk per feeding, pump and feed. Whether it is latching or pumping, giving your milk is important, not how you feed. At the end, you know it well. 

And my heartfelt Salute to those moms who dedicate themselves to breastfeed. 

This blog is purely based on my experience and is completely my opinion.