Postpartum blues

I didn’t know what to except when I was being wheeled into the theater for my C Section. 10 minutes into the room, the doctor announced that Baby was out. I was blank as I listened to her crying and had no idea how to pacify a crying baby. The next 4 days at the hospital went by in a glimpse. Visitors, nurses taking care of me, medicines to keep me painfree and the attention that I received from everyone- every second. After I reached home, reality dawned upon me. My struggles with the realization started from then. My body was caved and no wonder it’s called Rebirth of woman. I was as new as my newborn just that I could express my pain and while she couldn’t.

I didn’t know what to do when she cried. Was she crying for milk? For diaper? For burp? For sleep? For boredom? Or is there something else that I am unable to find out? Every moment was stressful for me.

On top, I had to breastfeed her and pump at the same time. I hardly produced any milk (read Here), and my breasts were hurting. It was as if someone chopped them with an axe and I was each time trying to put them together to work. It was very very painful. I would sit and cry while breastfeeding and cry more while pumping. I couldn’t bear the pain.

I was sleepless and any body that goes through the process of delivering needs rest. But new moms will never get rest. I was sleep deprived and it added fuel to my already struggling body. At times, I would tell my husband that I don’t need any of this and I wished we didn’t have to go through the process of delivering. Then in few seconds, I would take the baby and apologize for saying anything like this. I never understood what was going on with me until I told my friend and she said I might be having postpartum blues. She asked me to meet with support groups and see if I can feel relieved.

My husband supported a great deal by standing behind me. He told me to just take rest and sleep and he would take care of the baby. He assured me that I am equally important and so is my health and I shouldn’t be worrying so much. He told me that he is with me in this in each step. Those words meant a lot to me. I searched for tips on how to overcome postpartum blues and followed everything.

I stayed happy. I reminded myself that this is a bliss and the pain is temporary.

I promised my husband that I will take help and won’t hesitate to seek medical advice  if I feel depressed.

I constantly reminded myself that babies have no rule book and as long as we provide them the care they need, they will grow fine. We worry unnecessarily!

I came out of postpartum blues in couple of weeks. But ladies, postpartum blues and postpartum depression is real. If you feel you are going through it, then don’t hesitate to discuss with a family member and Dont hesitate to take help from your doctor. You are not alone and you are not the only one. Don’t feel bad or guilty. It’s not happening because you did something. You have given birth and your body went through surge of emotions. So, it’s ok to cry and when you think or your family member thinks you need help, TAKE IT. Seek medical advice if necessary. If you have given birth and went through that pain, then you can definitely fight the blues out 👍🏻

Wish you a happy motherhood. Hugs and love.

Traveling with an infant

India travel! 
                                                               
Just like any other new mom, I wanted to travel to India. But my daughter was only 7 months old and I had my own concerns about traveling alone. As usual, hubby couldn’t take off for more than 3 weeks. So, either I go with him for just 3 weeks or take risk of traveling alone and stay for a longer period. I obviously opted for the latter. 

But surprisingly, my travel was smooth and I was home in less than 24 hours relaxing with my parents. Here are somethings that I did that made my travel very smooth. 

Planned packing.

Now that I have an infant with me, my priority was my daughter.   So, I focused on her stuff than mine. 

1) I packed a full formula pack and kept nearly 10 bottles handy so that I don’t have to wash them. 

2) diapers for 5 days. Yes, I packed diapers for 5 days and asked my mom to purchase a new pack in India. It saved my luggage space. We used huggies. It was easy for me to get the brand. However the sizes vary from usa to India. So I got two sizes of each and tried them. Yes, in India you can buy a single diaper!

3) Extra clothes for the baby. When we left NJ it was very very cold. But I knew it would be warm in Delhi (layover) and hot in Vijayawada (destination). So, I kept different types of clothes for her to make her feel comfortable. I changed  them according to the temperature and LO was happy 😃. 

4) Breast pump- I had to pump. So, I kept my breastpump in my carry on and pumped twice in flight in the restroom and threw away the milk. I sanitized everything and kept them  in a separate plastic bag for further cleaning. I had no choice but to pump. So, i was a bit relieved in the flight. 

5) swaddle clothes are very handy during flight journey. I used them as bedsheets in bassinet, blankets and to clean her body occasionally. 

6) gerber baby food. I bought different flavors of gerber baby food and my LO thoroughly enjoyed them. I kept couple of bananas too. 

7) medicines. I kept Tylenol, eucalyptus oil, mylicon, nasal spray handy. 

8) her favorite toys are a must. 

9) lots of sanitizing wipes

Meet your co passengers

I introduced myself to my co passengers and they were very helpful during my flight. I never gave my baby to them. But they helped me with my luggage, during boarding and deplaning and also gave me company during the flight. However I did ask them to keep an eye on my LO when she was asleep in her bassinet during my brief restroom visits only During the flight. 

Planned dressing

I carried my baby carrier and wore a cardigan with pockets. It helped me in keeping stuff handy such as milk bottles, passports, spoons, toys ets when in need. Pockets! Yes, they’re very very helpful. 

Less luggage as carryon

I ket bare minimum but essential luggage that I can lift. It was convenient for me. I had my diaper bag, my carry on suitcase and baby carrier with me. 

Sleep when baby sleeps

Babies are very fussy during flight journeys. So, it’s better to sleep when they’re sleeping. Power naps definitely help us to recharge ourselves. 

Quick meals

Now this needs some real talent. I kept my LO in bassinet and played with her while having my food at the same time. I had to gulp everything but still I managed to eat all meals and not skip as I need energy too. 

What not to do?

1) I carried an umbrella stroller with me hoping to use to in India. But there’s so much dust, pollution and heat that I never even opened it (at least in the place I stayed). And most of the times we used Uber from door to door. If I had to walk, i used my baby carrier as it will at least keep her 5 ft away from dust. 

2) Don’t give any new medicine two days before the travel. Consult pediatrician before giving anything. 

3) Don’t  warm up the babies with layers. 

4) Don’t expect them to sleep. You will only be day dreaming. 

5) Don’t Keep too many clothes as you will end up buying them anyways!

These are few of my suggestions and I wish you all a very happy travel. Bon Voyage!

The unwanted guest called - Gestational Diabetes

I Gulped the sweetest water ever , had my bowl of cereal and toast and drove to the doctor’s office for my 1 hour glucose test. I was very very confident that I wouldn’t have any gestational diabetes as I never ate even a grain of rice in last 10 months, never ate sweets, chocolates, ice creams.. literally nothing because I was never fond of them. However, the next day, my Obgyn called and told me that I am very much diabetic and need not come for my 3 hour test but need to see Maternal fetal specialist as soon as possible. The next few days were stressful in making appointments with MFM, buying a test kit and wondering if I can eat anything or not and eternal search on understanding what gestational diabetes is and why I have it?

I am a very healthy eater. I never eat junk/rice/sweets, never drink sodas, sweet drinks. But how on earth can I have GD? After I met with the dietician as per my obgyn’s order, I came back home crying in the car as I was very stressed out from what I heard in the sessions. I have to check every bit of calories/sugars/proteins/carbs that I eat. I didn’t know what they all were. I have to test everyday multiple times and send in the reports. 

My journey with GD started from that day. Poking my fingers 4-5 times a day. Checking every piece of food that I eat. Wondering what went wrong when my sugar levels fluctuated. It was very exhausting initially for a month. To top it all, I was both hypoglycemic and hyperglycemic. So, anything that I ate either shot my sugars to nearly 200 or dropped below 45. It was very very stressful every single day with every single meal. I was put on pills as my sugar levels were not in the range. 

Then I realized, that GD is something that didn’t happen to me because I did something or will not go away even if I do something. It can happen to anyone irrespective of family history. None in my family ever had/have diabetes. 

I am not over weight. Instead I lost lots of weight due to healthy diet before pregnancy. 

I am a very good and responsible eater. 

But still GD happened! 

So, I was put on pills to regulate my sugar levels and I maintained a very well balanced diet for the rest of my pregnancy. It took me many trial and error methods to figure out what I can eat and what not. How much I can eat and when. Being an Indian, it is tough to figure out the calorie/carb levels in my food. For instance, if I ate 3 idlies, my sugar levels went upto 150+. But if I made a pancake out of idly batter, they were within the range. I gave in for cravings once in a while and sacrificed other food to maintain the sugar levels. The ordeal was real. 

Downside of GD is, I was nervous all throughout to take any bite and wondered what will happen to my baby. 

Upside of GD is, I ate a very controlled diet and didn’t gain any weight. However, the weight of the baby was fine towards the end of the pregnancy. 

But strangely, my GD went away the moment I delivered. I was told it’s all the placenta that does the trick. 

So, ladies, if you have GD, Dont get stressed. You haven’t done anything for it to happen to you and you can’t do anything for it to go away. Just maintain a healthy diet and follow your obgyn/dietician plan. After you deliver, you will forget everything that you went through. 

Hugs and love.