We are a movie production company.
We are looking for actors and actresses.
Please see the conditions and advantages sections and
do send us your resume.
1) Do you have a relative working in movie field?
If yes, please refer section I
If no, please refer section II
Section I- If you have replied yes to relatives working in movie field.
A) Do you have your immediate family (Father, brother, Uncle, Grandfather) as main lead in the movie field?
If yes, please refer to pros section.
If no, please refer to cons section.
Pros- If you have replied yes to immediate family as main leads.
a) You do not have to have any appealing features. If you look like a cross breed of two extinguished species, you will be hailed as number 1.
b) You do not have to be tall or well built. Just a minimum height of 4ft is required.
c) You will be hailed as super hero if you are married twice! If your first spouse belongs to the same language/region you will be cheered. If your second spouse is from different region or speaks another language, you will be hailed as super hero. if your third spouse is international, you will get a suffix "ism". But you will be expected to be in search of alien. Risk is yours.
d) You can do couple of bollywood movies. But if you are thrown back to the industry you belong to, you don't have to worry. you will have your hay to support you.
e) You can get a special privilege to enter politics.
f) You can instantly become rich by doing real estate/hospitality management.
g) Having bent index fingers, strong thighs, long hair, Casanova personality is a plus.
i) The more plastic in your body, the more chances of being number 1.
Cons- If you have replied no to immediate family as main leads.
a) You will remain as a comedy hero.
b) You will get to do small/low budget movies.
c) You will become villain eventually.
d) You might have to leave industry pretty soon.
Section II- If you have replied no to any relative in movie field.
a) You will end up doing small roles irrespective of your good looks and acting skills.
b) You are not allowed to date/get engaged to any one in the movie field.
c) You might end up with hit movies that will never get to be released anywhere.
d) You might take years to struggle.
e) You might develop suicidal tendencies and undergo lot of psychological/neurological pressure.
f) You might eventually shift/change your field. So, please have your educational certificates ready just in case.
g) You are at your own risk.
Actresses
1) Do you have a relative working in movie field?
If yes, please refer section I
If no, please refer section II
Section I- If you have replied yes to relatives working in movie field.
a) You are never expected to act unless you are in bollywood.
b) You need to have NRI accent.
c) You can approach TV channels.
Section II- If you have replied no to any relative in movie field.
a) If you speak the native language you want to act in, then please remember, we don't need you.
b) You need to be able to shed as many clothes as you can without inhibition.
c) You will get to act with all major actors before you retire.
d) You should be able to know how to operate "scissors" as you are expected to open/cut ribbons of malls/stores in the future.
e) No special acting skills required.
f) If you act or show talent, you will be demoted to character artist level.
g) You can be below 13 years of age to apply for actress post. But not older than 24 years.
h) Remember, that you are not allowed to go to bollywood. If you, then you are no more welcomed back. You are at your own risk.
If you fall in any of the above mentioned categories and want to be an actor-
Apply at your own risk.
